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ACTION PLAN FOR GREEN et al
Use this handy checklist whenever caught in a jam of your own making.

CHECK BOX AS EACH ACTION COMPLETED:

Feign Surprise That Anyone Could Suspect You Of Poor Judgement Or Wrongdoing
Claim That Your Critics Are Jumping To Conclusions Without All Of The Facts
Wait To see If The Media Is Able To Swing Public Opinion In Your Favor
Lawyer Up If The Uproar Doesn't Quickly Subside
Claim You Didn't Understand Your Actions Were Illegal Or In Poor Judgement
Issue A Standard Non-apology Apology
Act Contrite And Sincere But Also A Little Indignant
Accuse Your Critics Of Being Biased And Vindictive
Claim You Are The Real Victim Of Right Wing Zealots
File Lawsuits Against The People You Have Attacked Or Harmed

Observe These Guidelines:

1 - Don't ever admit guilt or act guilty.
2 - Remember - YOU are the REAL victim!
3 - Always pretend to be sincere.
4 - Once you have learned to fake sincerity the rest will come easy.
5 - The media will gladly defend you if your message is consistent and you provide them the proper talking points.