Posted on 05/19/2019 5:30:13 AM PDT by Kaslin
Education is important. I want my young adult offspring to get into a great college or university.
Sadly, my bribery fund is empty.
Must she, then, rely only upon working hard for good grades and preparing for the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT)?
No. There is a workaround: find a way to improve our family’s Adversity Score.
“The College Board plans to assign an adversity score to every student who takes the SAT,” The Wall Street Journal reported last week, “to try to capture their social and economic background, jumping into the debate raging over race and class in college admissions.”
This year, 50 colleges and universities, including Yale, used these new SAT measures; next year, 150 more will do so. After that, Katy bar the college door.
Students are assessed on 15 not-fully-disclosed factors, things such as the level of crime and poverty in one’s high school and neighborhood, “the educational level of the parents,” and “family stability.”
The other widely used standardized test, the ACT (American College Testing), is now working overtime to come up with its own measurement.
“An adversity score of 50 is average,” notes the Journal. “Anything above it designates hardship, below it privilege.”
Goodness’ sake, a mere two points difference on this new scale takes one from a hardship case to a person of privilege. Talk about upward mobility.
Is this a great country, or what?
One problem, however, is that, as the song goes, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.” Which, in this case, means the SAT will measure one’s school and neighborhood and home on crime and wealth, but it cannot look at an aspiring young person’s actual personal experience.
It will not judge the content of one’s character, but the character of one’s community. The more beleaguered the household, school and neighborhood in which you reside, using purportedly objective standards, the better for you — at least, in getting into the best universities.
This being a utopian and technocratic system, not a democratic-spirited or market service, students and their parents will not be permitted to know their score. Only the College Board and college admission folks will possess the formula that divines whether or not your student “built that” academic record.
So, let’s be practical and problem-solving. How to climb the “Overall Disadvantage Index”? What sacrifices must we make for the advancement of our children?
Well, my wife and I could divorce — for the children. Coming from a single parent household would noticeably improve our daughter’s educational opportunities.
Obviously, we wouldn’t dare sink her chances by upgrading our own educations, since our level of completed schooling can and will be used against her in the court of . . . progressive college admissions.
Lastly, how to become more a victim of crime? Felony-free homeschools certainly place kids at a distinct disadvantage in being disadvantaged. I guess we could move to a more dangerous neighborhood.
Heck — what am I thinking?! — why not stay put and just commit crimes ourselves? Show some entrepreneurial initiative! Don’t be dependent on others; be the change we wish to see in our world.
On that one, though, I had better check my exuberance with my wife . . . that is, if our divorce hasn’t yet been finalized.
The SAT clowns can make things much simpler by simply adding an additional multiple choice response to each question:
D: Whatever.
This answer always is scored as correct.
The tests containing this additional response are issued only to selected minorities.
Shazam: Instant admittance.
My adversity score is so high that I wouldn’t even have to go to college, they would automatically award me a Ph D and a 2 million dollar “research grant.”
You can guess where all this is going.
Victimhood, the gift that keeps on giving.
When it comes to being Woke the only punchline is “bend over”.
Considering the scholarship in the (insert here) studies Social Studies programs would doing that make a difference?
The author does not understand how this score is calculated. It is based solely on your neighborhood, not on your personal circumstances. You can be as rich as you like, and have highly educated parents, but only the average of the area where you live will be taken into account.
This offers many opportunities for gaming the system.
An “adversity score” is official practice of racism.
To white middle-class students (especially hetero males): lie.
Liberals.
.Ruin...
...Everything
What it is exactly is "Plan B" for the widely-expected day when the courts finally strike down race-based college admissions. Nothing more than Affirmative Action by a different name.
Well let's not go overboard.
Maybe just rent a vacation home in...say...the south side of Chicago...or Detroit...or Baltimore...some place run by Democrats...but declare yourself a citizen. Enroll the kiddies in a Democrat-run school, one with lots of heroin and cocaine. Naturally they'll drop out...
If their SAT scores are really sub-par, you could get yourself arrested a couple of times...maybe have yourself photographed lying in the gutter...or holding hands with some other guy...
Oh! And get your DNA tested. Somewhere back there's gotta be a "minority" of some kind.
I'm sure plenty of good ideas will come up--you know--good old American know-how.
On the other hand, why bother? The children will do better and learn more at Podunk U. than in the dark, decadent, angry, perverse classrooms of the Affirmative Action Colleges.
I've already told my four children that if they want to go to college, Uncle Sam will provide but they might be better off learning a trade.
Of course. Atlas needs to shrug.
If the courts strike down strike down race-based college admissions, won’t they also strike down adversity score?
Who do you think? We handed TOTAL AND ABSOLUTE CONTROL over education to liberals a couple of generations ago. They've held on to it tightly ever since.
The purpose of the test is to identify particular individuals who are most likely to be successful. Adversity scores produce a test which gives everyone essentially the same score. IOW, this change makes their product worthless. Typical libtard Unintended Consequences.
Ah, the SAT score isn’t affected and if some colleges want to give a #### about this new score, let them be idiots.
The ones that throw them away will flourish.
Is your kid smart enough but just hasn’t had enough adversity from life? Send contributions to the Adversity Foundation and we’ll offer social justice adjustment data to guarantee any student’s acceptance at college. White students need not apply.
Here’s an action plan, buy a run-down property in the ghetto closest to you and claim it as your primary residence.
Your new address for the SAT scoresheet?
PO Boxes in downtown Detroit suddenly become high-priced.
With hundreds of returns coming to each mailbox, right?
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