Posted on 07/24/2018 11:14:28 AM PDT by servo1969
I love women. Not in the social justice warrioresque "We must praise women as strong, capable CEOS and STEM graduates who can do anything men can do, but in heels" way, but in an old-school way. It's easy to respect a mother who watches out for her children, a wife who is loyal to her husband, or a sister who cares for her brother. I love a beautiful woman. I love a sexy woman. I love a woman who gives off that amazing feminine energy. As a man, being around a woman like that is just good for your spirit.
All that being said, this is not about the more wonderful traits of women. To the contrary, it's the kind of warning about women that fathers used to give their sons, but that's frowned upon today. You see, in our society we can hammer home the faults of men until they become stereotypes, but we're not supposed to point out the similarly damaging, but often very different flaws of women that young men need to worry about.
I think lions are extraordinarily beautiful and powerful creatures, but I also know if you make a wrong move around one, you can lose an arm. Women are much the same. They are magnificent but dangerous and since men pursue them, they need to understand what they're getting into.
Men don't like to admit this, but the first thing they think about when it comes to women is beauty. Not only are we drawn to it, but it's a status symbol. When a man has an attractive woman, other men think more of him. In fact, it can become such a powerful draw that some men put beauty first and second -- and whatever comes third doesn't matter. This is a mistake if you plan to be with her beyond a date or three because beauty fades for all of us, but it fades faster and harder for women. Moreover, beauty in and of itself only attracts for so long. As the old saying goes, "No matter how good she looks, someone out there is tired of her sh*t." Point being, make sure you judge a woman on a lot more than beauty alone because the time is going to come when one way or the other, that beauty is going to fade in your eyes.
Men tend to be famously ruthless about relationships a few dates in when women fall for them way too early and the men only care about sex. On the other hand, women tend to be much more ruthless than men when a relationship is ending. This is hard for a lot of men to believe because they can't imagine the sweet, uplifting, nurturing woman they were in a relationship with is taking them to the cleaners in divorce court or using their kids as a bargaining chip after the divorce.
Women tend to put the same kind of emphasis on status that men put on beauty. That doesn't mean it's the end all and be all of everything, but it does mean status is a lot more important to women than it is to men. What that means is that as a man, if you ever stop performing at the level your woman is accustomed to, you may lose her regardless of everything else. Lose your job, get demoted, take a big pay cut, lose your moxie somehow and women are much more likely to walk away than a man would be with a woman in the same situation. That doesn't mean it's a given, but it does mean that going backward in status as a man risks your relationship with a woman.
There are exceptions to every rule, but the most stable woman is as emotional as an unstable guy. Women are more emotional, more hormonal than men. Women are, at best, more tolerant of drama than men and at worst, they seek it out. They will become upset for no good reason, act irrationally, and are more prone to things like anxiety than men. The point of this is not "women are unstable and bad," it's that women are very different in this area and you need to be ready to deal with it. At times there's going to be crying, no matter what you do. At times, your girlfriend / lover / wife is going to become angry at you even though you've done nothing wrong. Wise men learn that there are times to ignore things women say rather than get in a fight because ten minutes later, their mood will improve. To men who aren't used to it, all of this can be freaky, but it can also help keep things fresh and exciting once you learn to navigate it.
If your woman is stronger than you, she may still date you. She may love you. She may even marry you one day. However, on a fundamental level, she will not be able to respect you if you are not strong and competent enough to lead her. Women don't want to be the ones who make all the decisions and wear the pants in the family and if you force her to do that, it will wear on her and she will come to resent you. How will that resentment play out? At best, probably unhappiness and at worst, cheating, divorce or contempt that's so bad that you wish you were divorced. I'm not telling you to be a jerk, but I am telling you that if you are not a stronger person than your woman, you will ultimately be sorry.
I love my wife. We have been married for 34 years. She can be the kindest, most considerate, loving person I have ever met. She can also be the meanest, most selfish, and conniving person I have ever met.
Some of it is the onset of menopause, but some of it has been there all along.
Her mom would fight with her dad and then go out and spend money to feel better. My wife, whenever she is depressed, goes shopping either at the mall or online. I have tried to point out the corellation to her, but she just doesn’t see it.
Whenever I go to the grocery store, I always pick up something special, just for her. I can count on one hand the number of times she has done the same.
I won’t go into details, but lets just say on the intimate side, she shows interest about as often as she buys me something special at the grocery store.
But for all her faults - and I could list more, but I’d probably break the internet - I still love her.
Weird.
One of my favorite lines is:
“I knew I hit middle age when the first thing I wanted to do with a sweet young thing is take her in my arms and burp her.”
Very good advice similar to exactly what I would say.
For the life of me, I don’t understand how single mothers would be ok bringing strange men around their children.
Sadly enough.. I told my only son that there is something wrong, unnatural and downright psycho about girls his age. I suggested just wait it out.. but he is “gaming” with a chick from Norway. Let’s just say, I dont see that ending well either.
I hate to see him alone all the time. It’s too dangerous to sleep with the generation too. Disease rates I have not seen in my career. 7 out of 10 children we are born with high levels of pot in their blood.
Yea, I’m sure you guys were a real dream to be around as well (eye roll).
You, my dear, are a good man.
I don’t disagree with that, either.
You guys seem to have met and/or married some crazy women. No wonder you have such bad views of them. I can’t imagine how awful it must be to live with a partner you have such low views of and respect for. What an awful life.
Funny how that happens, huh?
My daughter dated a guy who was “in the middle of a divorce” with his supposed evil b#$@h of a wife. I didn’t think that sounded like someone good for her, and when I met him, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye, I was sure. Shortly thereafter, she found out he wasn’t even separated from his wife! Naturally, she dropped him.
My husband was divorced from his first wife for over 25 years when we met. He admits he wasn’t a perfect husband, but since she’s re-married SEVEN times, I’m pretty sure it was mostly her fault.
That is so true.
I agree 100%.
If both sides would just suck it up and take responsibility for their own actions, most marriages would not fail.
There’s a series out called *How to have an Emotionally Healthy Marriage* and it’s really about being an emotionally healthy adult, which in the end results in a good marriage.
Yeah.
It’s not always everyone else’s fault.
The whole world isn’t wrong but them.
Why on earth would anyone want to get married that many times? Once the kids have grown up and moved out, there’s no reason to get married again (for the sake of morality around the kids, I get it). After that - Enjoy the peace and quiet!
Chances are she was 15 and just looked 18.
Yes - until and unless you’ve seen it, it’s hard to believe.
Faster than light speed.
Why on earth would anyone want to get married that many times?
Lol
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