Posted on 07/08/2018 2:41:59 PM PDT by BulletBobCo
The two most important inventions in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals. 2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men “evolved” into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer, but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Tofu and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule “just because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat”.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
However a Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers (and to just piss-off more liberals).
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self!
As for me; I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks! Right after I forward this message.
Flushing toilets allowed cities to grow and high rises to exist. I consider it an invention that changed society.
The Romans had high rise tenements sans toilets over 200 centuries ago.
http://www.historyrevealed.com/article/romans/5-facts-about-roman-insulae
ping
As my wife said to me this afternoon during her escape from the house, “let the games begin.”
Yes, but just imagine the logistics of taking out the human waste down an 80 story building. Although the waste could be sealed to avoid the smell, having flushing toilets makes it quite a bit more sanitary, and easier to deal with.
So, you’re saying Cain was the first liberal?
He was the first murderer, and what do liberals do? They destroy your reputation, accuse you of anything they can get away with, and lie through their teeth.
How funny!
Guinness is my favorite beer. I also enjoy some of the seasonal beers, as well as the small ones from Sam Adams, like Cream Stout.
No. #2: The wheel. #1: The flush toilet.
Real beer was liquid bread:
Cheap, antiseptic, nutritious.
Monks drank it because they were poor.
Filtered, pasteurised, modern so-called beer is not that invention.
Since you are going to take off on a serious tangent, I’d say that the electric light bulb is at the very top of the inventions pyramid. First, it extended the working day AND made interesting nightlife possible. Second, the light bulb morphed into the vacuum tube, ushering in the electronics era.
I can go with that!
Oh so true......
My family has been in South Florida since 1923.
My grandfather once said “ the worst thing to every happen in the state of Florida was the invention of air conditioning”.
When I asked about that he said, “ cause nobody would want to live here”
The mountain bike
No doubt about it
I had a colonoscopy done back in 2008, and when I went to the drugstore to pick up my “kit,” the woman at the prescription counter cried out in a loud voice, “SOMEBODY’S GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN!!!”
The padded horse collar (1000 AD)
The wheel
The thermos bottle.
Punch line : How do it know?
Dayumm!
I''ve got to review my grasp of history.
Romans.
20,000 years ago!
Another STEM genius heard from.
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