[Mrs. Don-o]

Two FReepers on other threads came out against adoption because they said it makes it too easy for a woman to bring more ____ (a worse word than "brats") into the world, even damaged ones, and not bear the full weight of the lifetime consequences.

I am not going to mention these FReepers' names, and far less would I ever invite the to a thread like this.

I'm just saying some FReepers have no heart for women or children who stretch out their arms to us for help.

How can you understand heartlessness? These hard-faced people were once children themselves.

I suppose the heartless need our love, too. Maybe more than the rest.

[gracie1]

I have stated my issues with adoption on threads, but not for the reasons stated. Yes, there will always be women who do not wish to raise the children they bear. But for the most part (I’m speaking of newborn adoption, not in cases of legitimate abuse or neglect), pregnant women in a crises pregnancy are pressured into relinquishing their children, instead of being offered the assistance they need to help keep their child. They are not told of the life long regret and loss they may feel, the life long effects their child may experience.
I’m happy for this young man. I’m happy he had a good adoptive family. Many adoptees echo these sentiments. many adoptees, however, experience a life of not fitting in anywhere, of adoptive parents unable to bond with them, and trouble with establishing relationship bonds. Many times, when they reconnect with their family of origin, they find they don’t fit in there either. Often they experience a profound sense of loss upon if they do fit in, a life they missed out on. Yes, adoption is much better than abortion, in that life is better than death. But at what cost to each person, the mother and the child.
My other issue is the insane amount of money that is involved. 10’s of thousands of dollars for private adoptions. Paying birth mother expenses, which opens up the risk of fraud.
I hope you don’t miss construe my meaning. It is a topic that invokes strong emotions either way. When someone comes along and challenges the narrative, they get attacked. I’m not attacking anyone who disagrees with me, I just want to give a little insight.

[Bodleian_Girl]

I’m not going to give too many details, but someone I know adopted three children.

The older two were adopted from foster care and it’s basically been ten years of straight hell for everyone in the family.

Those horror stories you hear about some adopted children? They are true.