Posted on 10/31/2017 7:53:06 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Editor’s note: Amy Swearer’s piece on the harrowing experience of being slipped a date-rape drug prompted an outpouring of response from The Daily Signal’s audience amid the surging #MeToo hashtag on social media for personal stories of sexual assault and harassment. Here’s a sampling. Don’t forget to write us at letters@dailysignal.com.—Ken McIntyre
Dear Daily Signal: We are indebted to you, Amy Swearer, for fighting to overcome the incident itself and then for being willing to tell your story (“I’m a Conservative Who was Roofied by a Stranger. Here’s What I Think of the ‘Me Too’ Hashtag”).
I admire your willingness to endure the pain of reliving the trauma and greater vulnerability, and know your motives in telling are just and good. I am immensely grateful and proud of you. It’s very brave and honorable of you to sacrifice the image we all would like to maintain of invincibility and poise for the sake of all women everywhere.
And I am hopeful that the outcome of the exposure of Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein will be positive for many women who need to make hard choices. Better a choice to lose that contract, if that’s what it comes to, when refusing the lecherous demands for a meeting in a hotel room, for example.
I am grateful women can become agents of constructive change and are finding their boundaries. We must carry personal boundaries in our minds and hearts, hold to them firmly in our habits, and avoid in every way possible the damage that comes from placing ourselves in a compromising situation.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailysignal.com ...
Hopefully, this whole dynamic will change finally and the workplace can be a healthy and equally rewarding environment. Too late for me as I'm retired, but I do hope women today stand up for themselves and refuse to be treated disrespectfully. I also hope those women who do step forward and identify those who wrongfully treat them don't waste their opportunities on silly mistakes, unintended or imagined faults committed by men who have to go through a learning process first so that they know what is or is not appropriate in male to female interactions. Ninety-something old men in wheelchairs who playfully crack jokes or pat a butt because it's at eye level are hardly worth pitching a fit over. Save it for the Weinsteins of the world - there's plenty of 'em out there and their time for repercussion is soon.
If I were an employer, I would seriously consider not hiring both men and women. It’d be an either or proposition. I certainly would avoid having them work together. Not worth the trouble. I’m sure a more crafty employer could figure out a way to make it work without appearing unfairly discriminatory.
The way things are now makes me wonder how many either out loud or in silence to themselves figured that as a conservative woman she deserved what she got, or worse. Or in other words: In their minds they see conservative women as supporters of the patriarch system, and so they have little to no sympathy for them.
It seems like we are hearing a lot more about this type of thing these days. Is it safe for a woman to go out alone drinking alcohol with a man that she does not know well? Maybe these days it would be wise for a woman to be in the company of good friends or a chaperone when going to bars or even restaurants to socialize with unfamiliar men.
I realize that my question does not necessarily apply to the situation being discussed. We have a bunch of nieces who are in their teens to late twenties. It seems like our society has deteriorated in the decades since I was in that age group.
It would be so much faster if we just asked all the women in the world, “which of you have never been harassed by a man?” than to listen to every single woman’s complaint. If you’ve never been hit on or groped or propositioned then you are in rare company indeed. Can we move on already?
Well said...common sense speaks.
BEING hit on is one thing. And yes, we’ve all experienced it. But being hit on by a man who has influence and power over your life and/or career is another thing indeed. I wouldn’t be saying this if it didn’t happen to me. 30 years ago and believe me, i remember it like it was yesterday. It wasn’’t physical. I don’t remember what he said, I remembered the way it made me feel. It’s something I can’t explain to a man. You have to be a woman to understand it. After all this me too stuff came out, I found the guy on Facebook and I told him. He’s in the entertainment business. I know he didn’t remember me but I wanted him to know that something he probably did as a lark has stayed with me for 30 years. And I consider myself a pretty strong woman.
If you moved from this article onto the actual story Amy wrote to the Daily Signal, it is quite dramatic and alarming to read of the effects of the event and the drug she was slipped.
So much so that I thought of sending it to my sixteen year old grandaughter, who has helicopter parents, but I need to think it over. Telling Amy’s story might be better than a young teen reading the true physical and mental reaction Amy suffered, told in this well written account. The link I found to Amy’s story was *under* the picture that Amy included in the above article. Does that make sense?
The reason I hesitate to send the actual account is that no one wants to influence young girls to never trust men, to be suspicious or risk even despise them, or fear intimacy in their marriage.
The past era we all grew up in certainly there existed legal recourse for such a thing, but who would dare want to use legal eagles and courts in small towns in fly over country?
But, a drug was nearly unheard of. Today, the danger is made real and must be rampant in cities.
Two thoughts. One is that women, and girls, are exposing everything all day, so why wouldn’t they expose their every hang nail on social media as well. This media blitz they are on is, of course, a great cause they have undertaken, but nevertheless, they have run the men off college campuses, and they run every church and school on the block, and have plenty of chips on the shoulder in our government. Feminism has affected everything from putting men in PINK, in sports, from football to rodeo, for breast cancer! Not the more deadly prostate cancer, but for their breasts. (The guys were morons for being taken in.)
Second, no woman deserves what Amy went through. Period. She is a strict conservative and was warning people like me (with three sons) not to go to my first “blame the women” argument, but to just listen for a change, to the story of one of our own and to just hear what happened to her.
Yes, I learned a little something. :)
Drunkenness and copulation are deleterious to workplace relations and to making a good choice for marriage.
The workplace HAS changed - but not for the better. As female teachers join the ranks of male teachers who have sex with students, females in the workplace are themselves sexually harassing men.
Also, any non-criminal “boys will be boys” activity is now mirrored by women.
I was propositioned by men frequently. Some tried to get physical with me. Some were Muslim bosses. I was even groped by a lesbian who ended up with an elbow in her ribs. I grew up with four brothers and there was often rough and tumble play. No one was allowed to touch me without permission even if it was someone that I was attracted to. I never ended up feeling sick because I was always able to walk away with my pride intact because I defended myself and also cut my losses if it was necessary.
That is not to say that a woman should expect to be raped and “like it”. I used to think Rose McGowan was some feminist kook but now I see that she was a victim of a crime and no one helped her. I cheer those women on. But all the MeToo women, really get over it and grow up. Confront those men if it’s necessary for your healing but not every instance needs to be trumpeted.
Not all men are pigs. Just some. And every woman should learn how to put the pigs in their place and walk away. That’s just my two cents during the years when my attractiveness was at its height and the passes kept coming. Most men are not asses. I bet the guy who pressured you hardly remembers the incident because he probably pressured countless women. That’s not to denigrate what happened to you.
I've known women that were just as hostile.
It took me a little while to find the link to the original story, but I did read it... which is why I posted the second comment saying that my question about the safety of women going to bars and restaurants with unfamiliar men alone did not necessarily apply to this situation.
The Bill Cosby situation brought this problem to light, but this type of thing has been going on for a long time. It just seems like it is becoming more common these days, but that might just be a perception... maybe women are just speaking out about what has happened to them more freely than in the past.
During my career as a firefighter I responded to several women who had been drugged with very bad results. They were completely irrational and combative. When a drug that has the ability to incapacitate someone is administered in a hospital by a doctor they know exactly what the substance is, there is quality control and the dosage is finely controlled. When a substance of unknown origin is given to someone without their consent by an idiot there is simply no way to know what the outcome will be up to and including death.
Our youngest daughter is in her mid thirties, married and not likely to be in a situation where this would happen. But this makes me fear for our many nieces who are all in their teens through mid twenties and socially active. If I told them that I thought that they should be very careful I do not know whether they would take it seriously or not. At this point they most likely view me more as a senior citizen telling stories about being followed by wolves walking to school in a blizzard.
I appreciate your reply and your experiences that placed you in the proximity and position to have observed first hand the reality of these happenings.
Basically you’re correct that perversions are actually increasing. We are warned even in scripture that “as sin increases, so does my Grace”. The people of God are comforted by hearing the additional words, “I will be with you always, until the end”.
So there is an over arching component to the implosion of societies, and it is the spiritual one. We see daily the increasing consequences are quite equal to the increasing rejection of our faith.
As for informing the youngsters in our family, we just must.
Personally, I believe preparing them for reading accounts, like Amy’s, is as important as the account itself. But, I will try to let the story do the talking, so that I am not seen as lecturing.
Preparing the grandaughter, in my case, includes what is important to me, for her to know.
3 simple things, meant to simply inform:
1) To not fear men. They are broadly protective and decent.
2) To understand that the media is not your friend. Tragedy is often used to shape your universal view of men, or any other issue, as purveyors of drama and seeking division.
3) To understand that this is after all a spiritual battle with consequences, and that even the innocent sometimes will be victims. (Think, now, about how you would overcome such a terrible event, even more than thinking about the event itself.)
ONE tip..
1) To keep your drink in your dang hand! Pay attention to the preparation of your drinks, or prepare your own dang drinks.
(She is 16 and good, but even soda pop is not immune from risk especially among strangers.)
My 2 cents. :)
Agreed. I am finding it absolutely astonishing how many women are coming out now and saying they were outright raped by Harvey Weinstein. I can’t imagine any scenario where I was physically violated and wouldn’t call the police. I don’t care who they are.
Exactly. Rape always needs to be reported. I feel for Rose McGowan who did the right thing but ended up being the one who was ignored and dumped by the industry. They have a lot to answer for in regard to her trauma. But the entertainment industry has always been perverted and scuzzy. I’m wondering when the dam will break in regard to pedophilia. I bet a lot of people will be leaving the country.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.