Posted on 05/20/2016 7:34:08 AM PDT by C19fan
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d earn the ire of a character named Turd Flinging Monkey, the nom de plume of a popular online activist. A leader in the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement, which encourages men to avoid romantic relationships with women, Monkey did not take kindly to my new Prager University video talking up the benefits of marriage for men.
In the video, I noted, among other things, that married men work harder (about 400 more hours), smarter (they’re less likely to quit without having found another job), and more successfully (they make about $16,000 more per year) than their single peers. I described these as features, not bugs, of married life for men.
(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...
She told me shortly before our 10th wedding anniversary. When she told me, quite a few things clicked in my head as to why we were having some of the issues we were having. Intimacy has always been an issue.
I was getting ready to leave her and file for divorce when she became pregnant with our first son. Then we had a second son and I stuck it out for them. For awhile, things got better between us. We've always been "friends" with each other but the other side of our marriage has never been good. I mean NEVER.
My oldest is in college, youngest graduates high school next June. I've been tolerating 'batshit crazy' mode for about two years now. In the last six months it's gotten MUCH worse. Marriage counseling, suggesting she see a doctor (hormone therapy) and other suggestions have largely fallen on deaf ears. Everything's my fault. She's hot/burning up: my fault. House is hot: my fault. Hot outside: my fault. All her regrets for decisions she made on her own that impacted our family: my fault.
Not sure I'm going to make it to the other side of menopause with this woman and I really don't think it's going to get any better. Been praying for divine intervention in our marriage for forever and it's not happening.
How much longer am I supposed to wait for her to figure it out that not everything is my fault? (That's not gonna happen ...)
I'm 54 years old, I make a VERY good living and even if she takes half of everything (which she will....) I still don't have to worry financially. At this point, my only decision is am I better off leaving her and living out the rest of my life single, or am I better off leaving her and hoping I find someone not so batshit crazy as she is who may actually have the capacity to love someone else?
Here's the worst part of it all: I know I'm married to someone who because of what they've been through, she doesn't have the capacity or capability to love someone else. Not one but TWO counselors have told me that about her. She's so compartmentalized her sexual abuse that she doesn't see how her actions impact every other aspect of her life (and they do.). She has zero close relationships. Not me, not our two sons, no one.
And I've been with her for 30 years. 36 if you count the time we were dating. That's 36 years of my life that I spent 100% dedicated to this woman, willing to DIE for her, that I won't get back.
Am I bitter? Actually, no. I'm sad and resigned to my situation. I'm more or less just waiting for my moment to say I've had enough and I'm leaving. When our two sons ask why, she can either tell them the truth, or I will.
That's just the way it is. Sadly, I know so many men that are in the exact same position I am. I really think you women have no clue how so many of us married men are just fed up with the states of our marriages. I used to think it was the cowards who left their wives. Now I think it's the cowards who stay. The brave ones venture back out on our own.
Of course celibacy is an alternative to marriage or fornication. Just because you may not prefer it doesn’t mean it isn’t an alternative.
“If I had to pick, I’d say wives are worse than husbands at making marriage miserable. And I blame feminism, which is not trying to right a wrong but to denigrate men.”
Women risk much less if marriage fails; that is why they don’t mind making a marriage miserable (or ending one more directly). The supply & demand dynamic is at work here, and it is very clear who has the legal & economic advantage in marriage: The side that wants to marry but can’t find takers...
I did that. Know what they said, what he did was immoral bUT not illegal. So in other words he knew it was illegal but he could get away with it. That’s even worse and that’s why I called him and told him to pray for my health.
It’s been 25 years and I don’t forget.
He took everything I had and I plan on taking his life.
I will never use a lawyer.
I should have went with the “family” who said they could get the money back and teach this effing shyster a lesson. But I said no let’s go through the legal system trying to be a good citizen. Eff me,never again.
What the hell is a sorry lawyer? One who says he’s sorry for effing you? There ain’t none.
Nobody wants to discuss how many of the young men today who avoid marriage are impacted by what they saw years ago (in either their own family or others nearby) in terms of divorce; they know they risk the rest of their lives, and are opting out. Tough to blame them...
You are unbelievably lucky. She could’ve done this to you AND drug you through the court system in a very expensive fight.
“She quit her full time job one day to stay home with the kids, cutting $50k out of our household income without so much as talking to me about it.”
That is absolutely unacceptable. Your spouse is also your business partner. Doing something like that with out sitting down and planning for it is financially reckless, and if I might say so...CRAZY!
Good advice. When you dip, that’s it. You’ll never be able to get back in the house unless she lets you. I always advise my clients not to EVER leave the house unless there is physical violence going on. The first one to leave is out for good. Make sure you get EVERYTHING. Anything left behind will be held hostage.
Whatever it is, it appears weak and unmanly. Maybe we’re that cooked as a society. Hope not.
I dated a gal with a similar circumstance, abused by an uncle at a young age, lost her father at a young age.
She was totally unpredictable from one day to another, she turned out to be functional alcoholic, and she would sleep with EVERYONE when she got drunk (which was all the time) to find self worth.
One day she just walked away, never said a word just bailed.
It was a good thing because she is a walking time bomb/disaster..
I learned that you cant save people, just yourself.
Hang in there.
Dude, after being with someone for 36 years, the person is who they are. Nothing is going to change. You need to make a call. Either (A) you accept the situation as is and live with it until you die. Or (B) bail and start your life over. You’re in your early 50’s and you’ve got money from what you’re telling me. That is a recipe for a smoking hot trophy wife in their 20s-30s.
You’re in a much better situation than what you think.
Good point. I like how people like to point to my cohort and claim that youngsters are screwing the family up, not getting married and not having kids.
A) Have you checked out the economy lately and the nice 30k a year entry level jobs for college graduates?
B) Most of us are apprehensive of marriage and kids because we lived through disastrous familia relationships.
LOVE. That is what a dog is for!!!!!!!!
Joke, but I just HAD TO say it. I could not stop myself. I am sorry...
For my math, after adding it up one day after my divorce...about $900,000.00
No fault divorce and abortion on demand were intentionally implemented to destroy the nuclear American family, just like promoting homosexuality and denigrating/prohibiting free religious practice.
Everything they have done since the 1960s was intentionally designed to destroy the nuclear family and the institution of marriage so Uncle Sugar Daddy can hook us all on Government Dependence and socialism.
The commies played us brilliantly and frankly, the end of American strength and culture and economy is not far off now.
Terrifying, sad, and it is to late to do anything about it. Future generations are going to experience serious mental and emotional pain enduring what is coming. I grieve over it.
Hahahaha!!! Thank you!!!
The first legal regime of no fault divorce was instituted in the Soviet Union right after the Bolsheviks took over. It was considered a radical departure in familia law at the time.
A while back I posted on one of these threads where someone had posted a pic of some “awkward-looking” young guys playing video games; I couldn’t understand why anyone was bothered that such happy-looking guys weren’t getting married. Seriously; they were so happy - why screw that up?
FWIW, I’ve been married a long time, but concede it certainly isn’t for everyone and I understand a lot of the reluctance. Like many others here, I didn’t marry an American.
I think the KGB started funding the original femicommies shortly after WW2. Maybe started even earlier.
Would be of interest to see the stats on remarriage after divorce from 50 or 60 years ago compared to now. I would suspect a decline in per centages of second or third tries.
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