Posted on 12/08/2015 1:53:08 PM PST by JustaCowgirl
From the BBC - by John Cleese.
ANNOUNCEMENT
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
We should come up with a modification to the terror alert system that is an Islamophobe alert system!
Yeah, me too. The Feds wouldn’t know if it bit them on the butt - and even if they knew, they wouldn’t be allowed to say anything about it for fear of offending Muslims.
"T E R R O R***A L E R T"
Oh goodie. I feel so much safer now.
That is absolutely classic.
0bama's regime is not going to do anything REAL to protect you, and they probably won't even give you advanced warning, but they are rolling out a new system to tell you that you've been hit.
The whole damn place is a terrorist threat, in any color of the rainbow!....................
Have you ever read a bigger pile of unintelligible dog crap in your entire life?
it will be a number system 1 is least threat 10 is highest threat
Level 2, level 2, level 2,level 2, level 2
ROFLMAO!.........................
New terror alert system:
5: You bitter clingers better STFU about the Muslims or else!
4: All your guns are belong to us.
3: Forget what you saw. This is not what you think it is.
2: Nothing to see here folks. Move along.
1: Situation Normal: Islam is Peace, Christianity is Intolerance.
Remember when the left used to mock it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV7CTlIcKlw
Pepridge farm remembers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2QVjp4KEjU
Number nine, Number nine, Number nine, Number nine, Number nine, ....................(You have to be OLD to get that).....................
That’s about right.
ALERTS TO TERROR THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE
In response to the Department of Homeland Security's recent announcements about threat alerts, John Cleese (or some other guy) had this to say:
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person - APPARENTLY NOT!
What a waste.
The warning should automatically go up anytime they mention islam.
Beat you by THAT much!
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