Posted on 10/01/2015 5:59:43 AM PDT by 1010RD
Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle...
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
If that is him, then I’d bet the uncredited editorial was written BY him. He seems to adore praising himself in exactly that same manner in each article.
No one here says you can’t cry at the right times. This guy seems to want us to cry often about who knows what...maybe the state of the world. John Boehner must be a modern man then according to this idiot.
Genitalia that functions anyway.The modern man’s junk really is junk.
The author is going to be the laughing stock of his peer group.
Man up dude!
Familiar to all: “Never bring a knife to a gun fight”.
Corollary: Never bring The Modern Man to a gun fight. Or a knife fight. Or for that matter any fight.
It refers to "spooning," i.e. snuggling/sleeping lovers lay on their sides with her back against his belly and his arms around her. The name "spooning" comes from the fact that the couple are like spoons nestled in a drawer. It's one of the most sublime pleasures that God has bestowed upon our poor wretched species.
I've never heard the participant in this activity described as "big spoon" and "little spoon," although I can understand the labels.
So the man being the "little spoon" means that the couple lies with the man's back against the woman's belly and her arms around him.
In his case, I think it means he is "presenting" his posterior to her, ready to receive whatever she decides to insert. "When he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield." He needs a protector, and a mommy... and so his solution, when confronted with physical and emotional difficulties, is to be bent into a fetal position with his protector behind him, holding him in place. It isn't difficult to see where his actual preferences lie.
The "modern" man is a selfish coward that refuses to protect his family because of idiotic political correctness. He would rather have his family unprotected than to gain disapproval from a stranger.
“We know who wears the pants in his family.”
I can guess who wears the plastic too.
Half of it sounds like satire!
Notice, though all feminazi tropes must be obeyed, he still has to deal with the intruder coming to kill the wife.
If this is modern man, ISIS has already won.
Add an extra number to the list
28: Modern man cries his eyes out and pi*ses his pants as Ahmed cuts his head off.
These are tips on how to be a beta male, man boob.
FROM: On the Town SUNG BY: Ann Miller (Claire Hudson)
Modern man is not for me, The movie star or daffer dan, Give me the healthy glow from ages ago, A prehistoric man,
What has Gable got for me? Or Mrs Johnson's blond boy band? I want a happy ape with no English trape, A prehistoric man.
Top hats, bow ties, He simply wore no ties, Bare skin, bare skin, He just sat around in nothing but bare skin, I really love bare skin.
Some guys care a lot for me, But my excitement they can't ban, Because I still await my primitive mate, We've had a date since the world began, My prehistoric man.
Don't like no analysis, He never knew what made him tick, He never paid, it seems, foretelling his dreams For prehistoric Dick.
Jitter, jitter, He never had jitter, No repression, He just believed in free self expression, I love self expression.
He had honest calices, He never worked to pile up dough, Someone like you and me, no ulcers had he, Simple and free, It's a long ago, For prehistoric dough.
Be bop, be bop, They didn't have be bop, Tom toms, tom toms, They sat all day just a beatin' on tom toms, I really love tom toms.
Better than oral?
So the man being the "little spoon" means that the couple lies with the man's back against the woman's belly and her arms around him.
I must be a modern man as that's always how we sleep although it could be because I go to sleep first while she still does her assigned chores.
5.56mm
So The Modern (pussyfied metro-sexual) Man Lets the female cover him, protect him, and keep him safe at night.
Unless he's a really, really, Modern Man and his "wife" is actually another Modern Man.
Well, note that I said "ONE of the most sublime pleasures."
But with regard specifically to your question, I guess the best answer is that it depends on which one you did last.
However, these bits of trivia and the others listed in the article aren't what makes a real man "real".
1. Real men have integrity. They are *always* as good as their word.
2. Real men don't shun responsibility. While others are primping and posing, he's the one in the back of the room who quietly says, "I'll take care of that.", then does it.
3. Real men do shun the spotlight. The middle of the dancefloor, showing off all your best moves by yourself, is for buffoons. Better to be dancing with your wife.
4. Owning a gun does not make you a real man. It's accepting the responsibility, and potential consequences, of ownership that does. See rule #2.
5. Real men are not afraid to use the most effective means necessary to keep their family safe. See rule #2 and #4.
6. Real men listen to their kids, respectfully, and note when they're right, and when they're wrong. That's how kids learn respect and integrity, see rule #1. Real men are not, however, their children's best friends. Friendship might come later in life, or not, but they will always be parents.
I suppose that's enough, not worth addressing each point in the article.
LOL!
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