Posted on 05/18/2015 9:51:19 PM PDT by rickyrikardo
A new law which went into effect this week encourages the state courts to award equal child custody following divorce or separation.
House Bill 35, sponsored by Representative V. Lowry Snow of St. George, combats the outdated family court tradition of awarding sole custody to one parent - usually the mother - about 80 percent of the time. The bill creates amendments for an optional parent-time schedule of 145 overnights, sets holiday schedules and provides for specific elections by the noncustodial parent.
The National Parents Organization applauds Utah for being one of the first states int he nation to pass shared parenting. It’s even mentioned in the Wall Street Journal story, “Big Shift Pushed in Custody Disputes.”
The story revealed nearly 20 other states are actively considering shared parenting legislation.
Read more: KCSG Television - Utah s new custody law aimed at giving both parents equal responsibility
(Excerpt) Read more at kcsg.com ...
Wanna outline a school schedule for the kids - who won't have any real continuity...especially with friends and activities...
Wanna think what it be like for YOU to be constantly switching from one place to the other - dealing with a different.set of rules every few days.
Maybe they should leave the kids in ONE place and make the parents do the switching...
Wow. Who says men don’t win big once a century?
Kids need their fathers too. And with this the father just may have enough money to prepare a place for them to visit. Simply amazing.
This is a very big deal and contrary to what you seem to think, kids win big here.
Custody battles will be fewer,
Do the sister wives get visitation?
No hearts in Utah or on this entry. Poor poor children cut in half. When Solomon offered to cut the child in half, the real mother said no.
That Bible passage refers to a woman who lied about being the mom; not to a mom-dad dispute.
Yes kids need fathers too...but not to be yanked back and the every few days. the old shared custody of keeping the school year intact in one place, while summers and shared vacations in then other works best for kids - although it still sucks.
People just need to grow up and make marriage decisions based on more than sexual attraction
The subject of the Bible was the child. Children deserve to grow up in a stable home with both parents. If the parents won’t cooperate the child still deserves their stability rather than being shuffled between two places.
As the grandmother of children of divorce let me tell you if they have a willing father they need to be able to spend consistent time with him. Kids are resilient and if the parents are good they will see that they get to see their friends and do their activities.
My grandkids got taken across the country to be left home alone most of the time. No friends, no activities, very little food, rags for clothes all despite hefty child support.
Thank God for the internet I was able to buy them coats and clothes that they chose and send them to them.
They spent all summer with their father but it isn’t like regular living, it was special and their father spent all his non-working time with them but it wasn’t day to day normal living because they were trying to cram a year into 3 months.
Good. Women have proven themselves to be no better than men.
>>>People just need to grow up and make marriage decisions based on more than sexual attraction<<<
That’s not the issue as far as I see it when it comes to this stage. Marriage is not what it used to be. One person can end it over the objection of the other. And I’ve heard stats that around 70% of divorces are imitated by women. What is that old conservative dogma about getting more of what you subsidize and less of what you tax? Child support in my state takes off 20% of your gross income for just one child. When women divorce a guy for no other reason than he is boring or she would like something different, I find rewarded her with his income to be incentivizing her to choose divorce. And if ya thing I’m full of it, here is an interesting peek from a therapist. Of course she spins this story in the best possible light for women. But it’s plain enough. She clearly states she sees a lot of women divorcing nice husbands and fathers.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randi-gunther/marriage-advice_b_5666990.html
As a grandmother I was initially concerned when my son divorced and shared custody was set up. My son and his ex were definitely not on friendly terms, but both loved the children. They opted to establish homes at least near the children’s school district, keep problems between them and try to have consistent homes. That was 8 years ago. They are still not friendly but work together for the children’s sake. The oldest is now at Duke and both are happy, well adjusted and good students who feel they never “ lost” either parent.
It takes parents who value their children more than their arguments to make this work. I think it is less the “shuffling” back and worth that hurts the children but more the attitude of the parents. While this can work, the question remains are the parents going to work at it.
Almost 40 years ago my ex and I set up a “joint custody”...mostly because my EX said he would never pay child support and I was the one with a job...plus I had been thru divorce twice with my mother and her battles and I suffered from lack of father interactions. I was not going to put my son thru THAT! My EX made it difficult but my son gOT lots of time with his grandparents/cousins/aunts&uncles (ex’s)...its a long story. My son is however a great man and father now.
We know what the best outcome for the kids is. Unfortunately the parents can’t provide that any longer. That is the ultimate selfishness IMO.
The system should never have been set up to opt men out of their children’s lives. Two days every two weeks and a couple of weeks in the summer? LOL That was equity?
No, the split living conditions aren’t perfect. Kids still need both their father in their lives. And for a good healthy condition for the fathers, they need to have the children in their lives.
I don’t think there has been any appreciation for how devalued men are once the children are stripped from them.
Folks can make any comments they want about men that don’t stay connected, but it’s virtually impossible for men to remain connected in any meaningful way in light of the time they get with their children.
They become more of an acquaintance than a father in the real sense. Can the father be disciplinarian given so little time to be with the kids? No. He becomes the bi-weekly good humor man or he looses everything.
Imagine how men feel knowing their views about deportment and childhood decisions are stripped from them. Eh who cares?
Well, that’s been the situation up until now. Now things may be on an even footing. The woman will feel the absence of the children just like the man does. She won’t by default own them. He won’t be default become a sort of sugar daddy that puts out quietly and has to keep that frozen smile on his face.
If it sounds like I’m jaded, I am. I’ve seen the underbelly of divorce for men. I didn’t stop loving my kids. I just finally gave up missed visitation, missed parenting, missed input to how the money I provide was spent on them. I observed how my money was spent on her weekend getaways and while the 13 and 14 year old children were essentially abandoned. Next to nothing spent on their clothing or other essentials. Mom had to find herself ya know.
I found out what the caring social system really thought of child protection. No one damned thing...
So I’m ready to watch how this “ruins” children. Can’t be any worse IMO.
I completely disagree. Sorry.
I did agree with your marriage decision comment.
I will tell you I spent five years with my second wife before marrying her.
Thought I knew her. Thought I could respect and trust her.
LOL
Exactly...and I’m a woman. I should write a book. I have been VERY pissed at women who separate their children from their fathers....and use them as chattel...
Thank you.
You know, I address this from men’s perspective, but I wasn’t perfect either. Most folks reading my comments will know that even though it’s unsaid.
They should at any rate.
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