Hey...good joke...but aside from that, and looking at your tagline, the name ‘bad kreuznach’ should be of interest to you.
As I understand it, Bad Kreuznach is the ‘baths’ (bad) at the ‘place of the kreuz’ or CROSS.
Apparently, in Roman times along the southern side of the Rhine, there were Christians among those soldiers.
Bad = bath
Kreuz = cross
nach = after
It may mean that after you crossed the river there you need a bath?.............