I'm not buying it.
Ping.
Thanksgiving without alcohol!? Who are these people? Communists?
One of my uncles by marriage finished his WWII service guarding German POWs, and what German profundities he hadn't already picked up as a child from old relatives on the (Iowa) farm, he completed courtesy of contact with the Kriegies. Anyway, when I was quite young, I would earn a small sip of beer if I would repeat a phrase from his lexicon of atrocious Germanisms. These many decades later, I only remember one word of the lot but can still recall how he and all the other uncles would roar at my performances.
Mr. niteowl77
*Having been around genuinely mean and dangerous drunks later in life, I remain grateful about how benign these men were during our holiday to-dos.
Hope you’re holding up your end of things.
These rankings are 1000% bogus but what they hey! Have another pop and it all makes sense.
Cook your turkey until done and wash your Bleeping cutting boards.
Likelihood of drunk relatives around the Thanksgiving table
Don't serve alcohol.
3. Likelihood of a political argument disrupting holiday festivities
Try this
4. Dietary restrictions, including diabetes and vegetarianism, which could impact the quality of Thanksgiving dinner
Tell 'em they can either eat what is served or go hungry. (Also known as the "Like it or Lump it" option)
5. Likelihood of favorite NFL team losing a Thanksgiving game
See that word "game"? As in an amusing activity of no real importents.
6. Likelihood of guests skipping out early to start Black Friday shopping
And you care that they are leaving because....? Didn't sound like they were great guests to begin with. Sit back and enjoy the time with the people who choose to stay.
My favorite uncle was a highly recruited big ole white boy tailback in high school....who lost his full ride to UGA...and prolly an NFL career...to a cheap shot that broke his back in his last game as a high school senior. That was 1972. He stayed smashed ass drunk from then until 1989 or so. Every minute of every day.
That being said....he was and still is a brilliant and good man. He is in relatively good health.
My life long friend of 40 years had a pulpwooding uncle who was a bad alcoholic. The kind that drank aftershave and listerine if no real hooch was available. It is a miracle pulpwooding the old school way smashed drunk didnt kill him...but like many other alcoholics...he is in good health as compared to others his age.
Serve the drinks, chuck out the TV.
