[1_Rain_Drop]

The dude is being brainwashed. He is learning to describe his life in a cage and any other freaky stories the white hut is making up about him to gain our sympathy for him. Problem is, he’s a slow learner.

[Dagnabitt]

Next White House story: Bergdahl left post to rescue a local child's kitten from a tree, afters his fellow troops refused to help because they're racists.