Ecce Homo.
Pun intended.
Posted on 01/19/2014 10:01:51 AM PST by dead
Robert Reece has found that ignoring the Man Code has improved his life enormously.
Not only does traditional masculinity oppress women but it also severely restricts the agency of men (a topic, I’ve written about in the past in the context of straight man love and hip-hop), often in simple, taken-for-granted ways. Straight men go to extreme lengths to perform masculinity. They avoid a wide variety of activities that they arbitrarily deem feminine or “gay” without analyzing the detrimental effects of this type of gender policing. Often mundane, seemingly inconsequential activities are heavily policed, inhibiting men’s ability to live freely day-to-day. While it’s also important to show men the macro level benefits of feminism and disavowing traditional masculinity, I thought it would be fun to reveal the little ways that my life changed when I stopped trying to perform traditional, patriarchal masculinity. So here it is: the 5 MOST Mundane Ways Disavowing Masculinity Changed My Life.
5) I Admit When I’m Sad
Sadness is weak; it’s feminine. Men rarely admit when they’re sad or depressed because men are supposed to be strong and unemotional. Deciding not to avoid traditional masculinity allows me to admit when I’m sad and seek support and help. I’m not left to deal with my problems alone. I also recognize the healing properties of crying so I even cry occasionally (and not just about sports or death).
4) I Can Touch Other Men
The ways straight men are allowed to touch other men are very limited, often only to handshakes, man-hugs (which are already restrained), and violent expressions (eg. sports, wrestling, etc). Inadvertently touching another man is strictly forbidden so measures must be taken to avoid this: men must be careful when handing a man something lest their hands touch, skip a seat in the movie theater to avoid touching knees, and scrunch up in the back seat of a car so they don’t accidentally rub against one another. It’s all so unnecessarily stressful and homophobic, and I’d rather avoid the whole performance. If we happen to touch, so be it.
3) I Wear Women’s Clothing Accessories
Men’s fashion can be narrow, especially when on a budget, and as someone who enjoys fashion, I’ve found that one way to push the boundaries of color and patterns is to shop in the women’s section for accessories. Women’s scarves and pins are infinitely more diverse than men’s which often only come in black, greys, browns, and dark blues. To find an orange or blue that pops or a nice green and black pattern, the women’s section is the place to be. Unfortunately, my feet are too big to wear women’s shoes because I could certainly go for some inexpensive colorful loafers as well.
2) I Can Admit Another Man Is Attractive
I can’t count the times I’ve heard a man defiantly declare “All men are ugly to me!” in response to being asked whether he thought another man was attractive. Liar. Apparently, straight men think that finding another man attractive is akin to a desire to have sex with him, i.e. admitting that a man looks nice is gay. But we all find a wide variety of people (of any sex or gender) to be attractive and sometimes we seek to express it so I’ve noticed men use an assortment of semantic moves to maintain their masculine performance while complimenting the looks of another man: 1) they’ll compliment his clothes and focus on his clothes, carefully avoiding his general attractiveness, e.g. “I like that suit” as opposed to “You look nice tonight;” 2) they’ll give a backhanded compliment, e.g. “So you think you clean today, huh?” or pair a compliment with a feigned insult such as, “I like that suit, but you’re still ugly;” 3) they simply preface or conclude their compliment with a reminder that they are straight, e.g. “I don’t wanna f#ck him or nothing but Johnny Depp looks good in Pirates of the Caribbean” or the infamous and endlessly homophobic “No homo.” I lack the time for this. If I think I’m an attractive man and expect to be told so, I see no reason to deny other men a similar compliment.
1) I Sit Down to Pee
Honestly, I suspect that many more do this than will admit it. Perhaps since it can be done privately, actually performing the act isn’t as important as admitting it, which few men do. But outside of public restrooms and urgent situations, I’ve never seen the allure of standing to pee. The appeal of it seems to be primarily based on its association with masculinity, but I’d much rather sit. Sitting is more comfortable and much neater, no risk of peeing on the seat or floor or dropping something in the toilet.
♦◊♦
Discarding these seemingly small things also create healthier men who aren’t as stressed by the daily minutia of masculine performance. And though I call these things mundane, they are part of the gendering process that maintains our system of patriarchal stratification, and adopting these simple acts of subversion can go a long way towards dismantling the notion of “real manhood” and with it the idea that men should dominate women.
Exactly!
Especially when I get up in the middle of the night. Turning on the light just hurts my eyes.
i think this guy has some issues he is trying to justify. i feel manly and
1. i can feel sad. i can shed tears at emotional evants like a military service for a fallen comrade. i don’t bawl and i don’t let it control my life but everyone has blue moods. my friend just lost his wife and he feels sad as do i and we have cried talking about it.
2. i will hug a close male friend when i first meet him or when saying goodbye or pat a guy on the shoulder for doing a good job without feeling feminine
3. i carry a tote bag all the time because i usually have a notebook and a book to read. no different than carrying a map case in the military. it’s not pink and fru-fru-ie.
4. if a guy looks nice, he looks nice. doesn’t mean i want to have sex with him. tom selleck as magnum pi comes to mind.
5. i will sometimes sit down to pee because i am reading a book or doing a puzzle but that is strictly in my house and not anywhere else.
lulz
This is satire, right?
The problem is all those little angry feminist bimbo’s feel that if little Buffy can do it, so can they.
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That’s part of it. The other part is I have a dog and two cats that follow me into the bathroom, and are very interested in what I’m doing. It’s a little bit crowded, I don’t want to pee on them, and it’s too much trouble to shoo them away at 3:00 a.m.
Someone like Boggey needs to smack some sense into him.
I’ll stick with saw palmetto and maintain my dignity and self respect, thank you.
Ecce Homo.
Pun intended.
This was not at all what I expected to read. I was thinking more along the lines of cooking or cleaning if it was necessary, or changing a diaper in a pinch. Or doing the laundry or dishes if needed. When I read the headline my mind flashed to a picture of my dad with an apron on. Of course he grew up with 9 sisters so I guess he didn’t have a choice! I certainly would be disconcerted by a guy who wanted to raid my jewelry box!!
Last week I went with Mrs. Chandler to Jo Ann's fabric store. She asked me to carry her purse, which I did. Later she asked me to retrieve a sewing box from the top shelf, which I did. Unfortunately, after I handed her the sewing box, I forgot to pick up her purse, which I had set down to perform the assigned task. We realized it was missing a few minutes later, and a search turned up no purse. Fortunately, a clerk had found it and locked it up safely, so she was able to get it back.
She said she isn't going to have me carry her purse in the future. Darn.
He’s a lumberjack and he’s ok (just like his dear mama), sure
Pathetic.
Maybe in Four Point Type.
-— Just don’t ever, under any circumstance, look inside and ask; “Whaaa. . .what’s THAT?!” -—
Thankfully, it’s never gotten that far. It’s like my wife put a hot coal in my hand. “Get it offa me!”
“I can’t count the times I’ve heard a man defiantly declare “All men are ugly to me!” in response to being asked whether he thought another man was attractive. Liar.” This guy is the liar. No one brings this up in conversation. I’ve never heard a man say this.
Not in the IT field, blacks and women move to the top faster than males. They make the same or more than men. There just aren't that many women in IT.
A great comeback would't been, "But your hair smells so nice."
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