How to Win Thanksgiving: A Holiday Guide to Arguing With Right-Wing Relatives

Salon ^ | Thursday, November 28, 2013 | Alex Pareene

[kristinn]

Your guide to dealing with relatives with awful views this long weekend. A special "Obamacare train wreck" edition

Once again, Americans everywhere are spending a wonderful day with their families, being thankful for things, and also probably getting trapped wherever they are for days because of storms and mass nationwide flight delays and cancellations. But while family is a wonderful thing, sometimes people in your family hold very different beliefs than you do about important things like race relations and Islam. Once again, I am here with your guide to arguing intelligently, or at least coherently, with your right-wing relations. (Here are my guides from 2012 and 2011.)

As always, I can’t stress this enough: The first rule of arguing with your family members on holidays is don’t argue with your family members on holidays, because let’s all just try to enjoy one another’s company for once, without screaming and name-calling and so on. Many of your older relatives are lied to and scared by evil people on the radio and television, and that is not their fault. It’s usually best to change the subject, or go outside for some fresh air/cigarettes. But if you must, here are some reasonable things to say.

I have a feeling most of the discussions around the table this year will focus on healthcare, so that is what most of this year’s guide is about.

Obamacare is a disaster

I mean, not really, so far. It is still too early to tell, and most Americans believe that the law hasn’t affected them at all. Many of those Americans could be incorrect, as the law has changed how insurance companies treat all of us, regardless of whether we purchase individual insurance or receive it through an employer, but right now “Obamacare” doesn’t mean much to most people. (If you want to run through the benefits, there’s the insurance for young adults through their parents thing, and the preexisting conditions thing, lots of preventative care things are now “free,” and some prescription drugs are cheaper for people on Medicare.)

But yes, the law has its flaws, in its construction and its execution, but so far those flaws aren’t really hurting very many people.

The broken website proves that Obamacare won’t work

The broken website proves that federal IT contracting is a huge, broken mess, but anyone who has ever read anything about federal IT contracting before this already knew that. (So, like, 10 people knew that.) The broken website makes a fine metaphor, but if it’s up and running soon, it won’t have affected all that many people, or doomed the law. And if it’s not fixed soon, well, then there will be some trouble, possibly major trouble, with the individual insurance marketplace and the mandate, but the goal was always to get some uninsured people insured right away, and all the rest of them insured over the course of a few years, so small initial enrollment numbers probably won’t be the disaster everyone is claiming it will be. Basically, wait for the new year before saying HealthCare.gov killed Obamacare.

Canceled insurance policies prove that Obamacare has already failed

So, yes, Obama lied when he said “you can keep your plan,” or at least he omitted all these caveats that he probably assumed were implied in his statement, but the actual villain here, as always, is insurance companies. (No one likes insurance companies, right? Here you can feel free to agree that a healthcare reform bill that relies so heavily on private insurance companies is inherently flawed, it’s too bad we can’t just have Medicare for everyone!) The insurance companies first sold most of these people crappy plans that covered nothing and would’ve left them open to massive bills had they faced any serious medical problem. The insurance companies then decided that, instead of changing their plans to meet the higher standards of coverage required under the ACA, they would cancel all of them. The companies then sent everyone letters saying that their plans had been canceled, and in those letters they attempted to sell more expensive plans to people, without pointing out that many of those people are now eligible for subsidies or able to choose more affordable (and better) plans through other insurers. These “cancellation letters” are primarily sneaky, misleading sales pitches. Multiple state insurance regulators have criticized and fined insurance companies for sending them.

It’s true that millions of people who had currently been in the individual insurance market now face disruption and change, and everyone hates change, but the vast majority of those people were getting ripped off, and lots and lots of them now qualify for better coverage at an affordable rate. Those stories are less “news-worthy” than stories of people facing “rate shock,” though, and so they are less often mentioned on the news.

It’s sort of moot, though, because now insurance companies will be allowed to continue selling those deeply crappy plans to people, though they will have to send everyone a letter explaining how crappy they are.

Obamacare is a violation of religious liberty because Hobby Lobby has to pay for contraception

OK, well, first things first: Are corporations people? Can private, for-profit corporations be said to have a religious faith? A corporation’s founders, its owners, its board of directors or its shareholders all are welcome to practice any religion they choose without government interference, but how does a corporation worship? The entire point of corporations is that they’re separate legal entities from the individuals who make up the corporations — otherwise, limited liability wouldn’t be a thing — and while corporate “free speech” is at least defensible in the sense that corporations can “speak,” there’s no precedent for saying for-profit corporations practice religion.

SNIP

[Cyber Liberty]

I’ve noticed since Obastard was elected these “progressive” relatives have been gradually self-selecting, and not coming to Thanksgiving Dinners. They don’t cotton to all that “God and Gratitude stuff” being bandied about the place. They’re also being invited less.

It’s better for everybody, really, when we don’t have to lock the crazy relatives in the basement all the time.

[MestaMachine]

“be told to leave and escorted to the door.”

I never said it had to be gently. And I really didn’t have gently in mind when I said it. I would make them bend over and pick up their own teeth then hasten their way out with the help of a well-placed foot.

[Cyber Liberty]

No. I refuse.

[Oldexpat]

The liberals are obsessed with Thanksgiving political discussion this year because they are loosing the argument on Obamacare and a lot of other things.
They need to be told to STFU and eat the turkey that conservatives bought for them.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

***be told to leave and escorted to the door.***

Their hat, coat, gloves will be shipped to them later, COD.

[dead]

Not a single liberal idiot in my extended family tree (but I keep a close eye on the youngsters as they head off to college and come back wearing those hippy Mexican shawl thingies... with a Reagan button on it! Whew!)

[OldNavyVet]

Folks, another stock market crash is coming.

And that crash might be triggered by government Obamanites under orders from ... guess who.

[Washi]

To progressive retards:

I hope you like kibble. Because, if you start trying to push Obamacare, or any other leftist, authoritarian policy at my Thanksgiving day table, you will either find yourself eating out of the stainless steel dog bowl on the back patio, or shot with my 12 gage.

Your choice.

[dead]

Basically, wait for the new year before saying HealthCare.gov killed Obamacare.

Oh, it's just a "federal contracting" issue?! Yeah, that's the ticket.

Focusing on Obamacare's website problems is like criticizing Charlie Manson for wearing an ugly shirt.

[Cyber Liberty]

(Face it...the shirt *was* ugly)

[The Mayor]

I don’t have the stomach but in order to fight them, we have to know their battle plans.

[dalereed]

To hell with them, I give it to them with both barrels and don’t give a damn what they think of it or me!!

Nice talk is for pussies!

[Madame Dufarge]

Why it will probably be worse than during the Super Bowl when men routinely beat women senseless!

[headstamp 2]

Typical liberal. Everything is political.

[Ouderkirk]

True to any communist. They simply cannot stop trying to convince themselves they they are always right by blowing up any family gathering. Then it is someone else’s fault when they get nuked for being stupid.

[DoughtyOne]

D E S P E R A T I O N

You know they know they're in trouble when...

[Peter W. Kessler]

Very small family gathering today (five of us - all of the same political bent).

We’re visiting the progressives Saturday.

I’m going to leave the car running; don’t expect to be there very long.

[Covenantor]

I am the one who is going to bring up Obamacare today and I?m going to harp on it and proclaim it as DISASTER. They can kick me out if they want. Geez folks lets go on offensive. This is a perfect opportunity to wake our liberal family members up!

I'm with you on that. Wasn't made aware of the OFA Thanksgiving Talking Points until this morning so hadn't planned a counterstrike. Fortunately no liberals will be present.

But here's a quick and dirty shot that might not be too late for some.

Print up some placemats with a roast turkey feast, something like the one below. Install these as the table settings for your liberal family members or guests. Provide the usual china, flatware, linens. Fill the water glasses only. Do not pass them actual food. Wait for them to plead for the food. Then tell them you didn't actual promise them a real dinner just as Obama never promised real health care. If overcome by feelings of mercy, hand them a snack size bag of M&M's. Tell them the M&M's were inspired by the beneficence of the First Family do so at at Washington DC Free Food center. True story. If upon further complaints, mercy compells you to act, resist as long as you can, then give them a dry biscuit, no butter or gravy. Further pleadings should cause them to be smacked on the way out the door.

Next year I'll be ready for them, as there's little chance of either the Acme Care Actuality working so they're sure to recycle the TP's. Whoa! Talking Points and toilet paper, same abbreviation! What're the odds of that. Well at least one of 'em is useful or getting rid of s***.

[GraceG]

I’m telling them this: “May the chains you voted for rest lightly upon you.”

And nothing else.

[PLD]

EXACTLY!!!!this family I am talking about look down on everyone and no one is as smart as they are..I just look over their ignorance most of the time and let them know I am not in the least intimidate by them.. When people like us here on Free Republic that check our facts.. so we can quote the truth to them and they still will stand their and lie like dogs..