This is another example of wearing rose-colored glasses. They say that there are 40 billion chances for life on other planets, but if so, what are the chances that we are the most technologically advanced? 40 billion to 1. If a planet had life and was only 100 years more advanced than us, they would be able to contact us and communicate with us.
Other than the fact that they are probably millions of light-years away, you are absolutely right.
The obvious problem with that position is conceivably, that other, more advanced otherworldly civilizations might be so cosmically distant that they cannot communicate with us-- yet.
They may be bale to communicate with us, but why would they? Would it not be better for them to observe and study us before making that determination?
As for advanced technology, they may very well be here and communicating amongst themselves without our knowing about it. Imagine if we were to be able to take our technology back in time and observe older civilizations. We would be able to move about and communicate in a stealth manner that they would be unable to detect. So why would not an advanced civilization do the same?
Mathematically speaking, extra-terrestrial life is a certainty. The real question is, “in which form does it exist”? Amoebas in primordial ooze? Early development? Superior and tremendously advanced? Who knows.
But would they want to? And would we understand it? And how long would the transmissions take? Technically we’ve sent out communications (both on purpose and just a by product) but they haven’t gotten very far. And the communication methods we use now would be completely useless in communicating with us 100 years ago.
"Send More Chuck Berry."
The only evidence we have is that advanced intelligence development requires a tribal war making disposition driven by vanity and envy. An advanced civilization out there would not likely be our friend. We're asking for it broadcasting non-random appearing signals indiscriminately. Our Milky Way could very well be a nasty neighborhood.