CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!" MINISTER: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smartphone and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13 ...and please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon." P-a-u-s-e..... "Now, let us pray committing this week into God's hands. Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God." S-i-l-e-n-c-e "Click on YouTube for some very inspiring hymns and praise songs that you can sing along to since they have the lyrics downloaded to the videos As we take our Sunday offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password 'Lord909887.' The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers: a..Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church. b..Those who prefer to use iPads can open them. c..Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell phones to transfer your contributions to the church account." The holy atmosphere of the church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smartphones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker! Don't forget, this being Easter Sunday, we have drive-by communion for all! Just stop at double doors at the west side of building and you will be served and you and the family can be on your way. FINAL BLESSING AND CLOSING ANNOUNCEMENTS... a...This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don't miss out! b...Thursday's Bible Study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out! c...You can follow your minister on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers. God bless you and have a nice day. ~~Fade To Black~~ |
Oh My........
Stunning, LUV...we actually have members of our congregation following along on their iPads; we have a Wi-Fi connection at church and the password is printed in the bulletin.
We don’t do debit/credit cards; but you can set up an automated weekly EFT on the church’s web site!
Good satire has to have a bit of truth to it, right?
Good early morning ladies and (((HUGS))). Just got finished with my shift and am very tired. I got that in my email the other day. Have A blessed Lord’s Day.
MINISTER: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smartphone and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13.
((HUGS))Good morning, LUV W. How's it going?