It's Been an Honor

This day is Erev Yom Kippur, (Yom Kippur Eve,) usually commemorated with two festive meals, the giving of charity, and asking others for forgiveness. This is to ask YOUR forgiveness for not explaining why all of my pings have stopped without anyone knowing why.

I wouldn't exactly call this a 'vanity', more like an explanation and apology to all of you who have added your names to any of my lists for why you don't get those oh, so many pings anymore.

Below is what this post started as. And THIS is how it ended. I figured it was better to show you *what only ywp pr three [ep[;e a;ready know than tp have you thonl I just qioy/>[?

Paet od this post is comp;etely unedited and pitposefully so. It's to show you as best I ca hy O dpm't [pst very ,uch any,ore.

Ihave ;pst ,ost comyro; pf ,y ,pypr skills and my eyesught is fokkowing very closely/ Both are failing and tryong to pst even one line takes amywjere frpm 20 ,imutes to hald an hour and stil has ty[ps even though I thinl it looks all right. It is frusteating amd embarrassing, nit I don't want anyobe to thiml I a, ignorong or disinterested becaise nothing could be further fro, the truth.

The illness conbomed woth a ,addive quantity of frigs has made ,y duslexoa nearly i,possible to cope with. Sometines I will type the same wrong letter three or fpir ti,es before I get iy roght and I odten end up in tears.

So you see. O do SO apologize if I have let you sowm or goven the ompression that just stopped caring. O woll never stop carong.

Thanl you and please don't stop pinging me to articles of interest. U read them all at 150 ,agnification,

U started this post at 2:-- AM pm the dot/ Oy is npw 2:30 and I am gpog tp edot ot.

Part of this post is completely unedited and purposefully so. It's to show you as best I can why I don't post very much anymore.

I have lost lost control of my motor skills and my eyesight is following very closely. Both are failing and trying to post even one line takes anywhere from 20 minutes to half an hour and still has typos even though I think it looks all right. It is frustrating and embarrassing, but I don't want anyone to think I am ignoring or disinterested because nothing could be further from the truth.

The illness combined with a massive quantity of drugs has made my dyslexia nearly impossible to cope with. Sometimes I will type the same wrong letter three or four times before I get it right and I often end up in tears.

So you see. I do SO apologize if I have let you down or given the impression that I just stopped caring. I will never stop caring.

Thank you, and please don't stop pinging me to articles of interest. I read them all at 150 magnification.

I started this post at 2:00 AM on the dot. It is now 3:20 and I edited it but I have to add something. (Editing as I go now.)

When this first started, and the posts were really screwed up even after I had edited them, I would ask the mods, who I am so grateful to, to pull them and sometimes they were gone before I even got back to the page. Thank you, Mods. I realized I couldn't keep doing that for long. The Mods aren't babysitters and they have more important things to do than stop me from embarrassing myself.

The final kicker though, was a Freepmail I sent to Brad's Gramma. She sent it back to me and said it was the first good laugh she had had all day. When I saw what I had sent, I was beside myself. She understood it, but I don't know how. And that was the end mostly.

I have several rather large ping lists and would be extremely grateful if someone could take one or two and get the word out. Please Freepmail me if you would. I will give the links and graphics and explain how to keep the indexes right with the links. Anything I can do to help, I will...gladly.

Tomorrow is Yom Kippur and I will be offline all day from sundown today. May G-d hear my prayers.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before you knowing your great hand of love and care now is extended to Mesta as she again faces further surgery....Lord, There is nothing about her which goes without you knowing....

So with this in mind we ask that you reach through the Doctors and medical staff which are seeing to her care...give them eyes to see what needs to be seen and done..and your wisdom to determine each procedure and how to go about these for the results you have determined possible.

We also ask that you reach through Mesta and equip her body to be stable throughout this time so that she might endure this time and the time of healing thereafter...and as this time has come in order to pass we ask that Mesta’s faith may be strong In you and she may experience your comfort in ways that are remarkable to her.

Thanking you now for what you are going to do, have done and will be doing for her in the days ahead.

In the name of your Son Jesus we ask this..and for His Glory Lord...

Amen

Mail from Mesta:

Tell everyone I will respond as much as I can tomorrow. I just want them to know I am home.

This is yet another vanity because there is no way I could thank everyone individually for the outpouring of love and well wishes I have received in the last few days. I wouldn't even know where to begin.
When I left for the hospital yesterday, (although it seems much longer,) I expected to be gone for at least two months, maybe longer.

When I checked in, they did four major tests right in a row which included two biopsies. By the time I got back to my room, I was dizzy-sick from the pain.

After they hooked up the IVs with the nutrients in one, and blood in the other, (because they stole all mine,) loaded me up with a handful of pretty pills and a drink of something only a masochist could love, they zapped me full of morphine and wham! It was suddenly morning and my doctor, G-d bless him, was already there.

He was standing there shaking his head. The ensuing conversation is quoted here verbatim.
Dr. AlSaadi: Well, you did it again.
Me: What? What did I do? What's wrong?
Dr. A: I have to send you home. There is nothing I can do for you...HERE. The regimen of new meds you have been following at home is working. The ulcer is shrinking slowly, and it has stopped bleeding. The pain will ease up as the ulcer heals, but not completely because you still have many lesions in your intestine, and they are still forming as well as scar tissue.

You still need the resection. We will need about 10 to 14 inches off and then put you back together. - Otherwise the infection will keep repeating over and over and your immune system will break down completely. You get rid of one infection and another starts almost instantly as the poisons enter your bloodstream. - Each time, it weakens your own ability to fight off a new infection and your immune system is working overtime to try and catch up.
The continued buildup of scar tissue will eventually cause a complete blockage and maybe organ failure. So the resection is absolutely necessary.

As soon as the ulcer is healed and your nutrition intake improves, I will schedule that and you should be in and out of here in a couple of weeks.

The biopsies aren't completed yet, but I don't see a problem. IF anything does show up, I'll call you and we go from there, but I don't see any reason to keep you here, so go home, keep doing what you've been doing, and I'll see you in my office in a week.

Me: Crying.

Dr. A: Do you have a way home? Is there someone you can call?

Me: No.

So he told the hospital social worker to arrange transportation for me. Ordered a massive dose of morphine to get me through the intense pain until I got the prescriptions filled.

Dr. A: See me in my office, ONE week. No cancel.
It finally hit me. He worked once for thirty hours straight to put me back together and still thought I was gonna croak. I didn't. He has been calling me his miracle patient ever since. What that man does is use the gifts the Lord gave him to help miracles happen. I've told him that many times. I could tell you stories, but not now...well...maybe one.

He is an Arab, AND from Saudi Arabia. His wife runs a tour business specializing in trips to the ME and NE.
My crew brought me into him with my face literally slit in half from the top of my forehead to under my chin down to the bone and my nose hanging off my face to one side.
Then surgery, ... (which only took 19 hours.)
He is not a plastic surgeon. He is a gastroenteritis, but he has knitted my bones and to this day, if I didn't point it out, except for less than a quarter inch scar above my nose, you would never know that my face had been cut anywhere let alone in half.

I'm rambling, I know, but it's that kind of a day. I am so blessed. Been thanking G-d all day and can hardly believe my own good fortune.

Anyway, thank you all for everything. Prayer does work. I couldn't understand why checking into the hospital was postponed and I had to wait so long. NOW I know. That is just what G-d does.

Sincerely,
Mesta

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