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Admin Error Sends Bradley Manning to Death Row, Nidal Hasan to Gender Reassignment Surgery
Duffelblog ^ | Aug 31, 2013 | ?????

Posted on 08/31/2013 3:50:46 PM PDT by SLB

FT LEAVENWORTH, KS — An administrative error has been blamed for a mix-up in sentencing involving the cases of convicted Fort Hood shooter Maj. Nidal Hasan and Bradley Manning, the Army private convicted of leaking classified documents to the website WikiLeaks.

After sentencing concluded last Wednesday in Fort Hood, Texas, it was reported Hasan would undergo gender reassignment surgery and change his name from Nidal to Nahid Hasan. Nahid is an Arabic name meaning “one with full, round breasts.”

Not long after it was revealed, the traitor formerly known as Chelsea had been transferred to death row where he awaits execution by lethal injection.

Leavenworth officials announced that both gender reassignment and execution have been approved by fiscal offices. Due to end of fiscal year funding constraints, changing these allocations will be too costly in the final quarter.

Sequestration and work furloughs were also cited as possible contributors to the errors, which are now fiscally and administratively impossible to correct. Administrative offices in Leavenworth were unavailable for comment due to a “training holiday.”

Hasan, who had declined to speak on his own behalf previously, is reportedly now quite vocal concerning this turn of events.

“This is egregious,” the former Army psychiatrist said of the mix up. “I’m supposed to get 72 virgins, not turn into one. My mullah screwed me!”

At press time, Manning was unavailable for comment, throwing a hissy fit in his cell. This despite fellow inmates having assured him they would still call him girls names.

Al Jazeera America has reported Al Qaeda rumblings of possibly facilitating an arranged marriage between Hasan and Ayman al-Zawahiri. Since the announcement or the error, Hasan has received multiple proposals of marriage from various Afghan jihadis, including Zawahiri.

“A woman who used to be a man? That’s the best of both worlds,” remarked one jihadi. “Every day will be man-love Thursday!”


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Government; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: bradleymanning; chelsealately; forthoodmassacre; hasan; leavenworth; manning; oops; satire
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To: SLB

Fix em both and send them to the firing squad.


41 posted on 08/31/2013 9:20:16 PM PDT by eggman (End the Obama occupation of the White House!)
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To: martin_fierro

Wickedly wrong on countless counts.


42 posted on 09/01/2013 1:31:13 AM PDT by Admin Moderator
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To: ScottinVA; martin_fierro; Charles Henrickson
it was reported Hasan would undergo gender reassignment surgery

Hasan ... CHOP!

43 posted on 09/01/2013 6:28:23 PM PDT by mikrofon ('Sinbad taste ;)
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To: SLB; 3D-JOY; abner; Abundy; AGreatPer; Albion Wilde; AliVeritas; alisasny; ALlRightAllTheTime; ...

So there IS justice after all!

Combined PING/DANG!


44 posted on 09/02/2013 4:50:27 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Major brain damage at UMES, but no property damage!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Thanks...fun to read and DREAM about it!


45 posted on 09/03/2013 11:45:24 AM PDT by 3D-JOY
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To: SLB
Someone in Syria will be in for a big surprise when his virgins show up!

-PJ

46 posted on 09/03/2013 11:48:38 AM PDT by Political Junkie Too (If you are the Posterity of We the People, then you are a Natural Born Citizen.)
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