Posted on 07/17/2013 8:15:56 AM PDT by Second Amendment First
OZARK, Mo. — This summer, Marty the Magician got a letter from the U.S. government. It began with six ominous words: “Dear Members of Our Regulated Community . . .”
Washington had questions about his rabbit. Again.
Marty Hahne, 54, does magic shows for kids in southern Missouri. For his big finale, he pulls a rabbit out of a hat. Or out of a picnic basket. Or out of a tiny library, if he’s doing his routine about reading being magical.
To do that, Hahne has an official U.S. government license. Not for the magic. For the rabbit.
The Agriculture Department requires it, citing a decades-old law that was intended to regulate zoos and circuses. Today, the USDA also uses it to regulate much smaller “animal exhibitors,” even the humble one-bunny magician.
That was what the letter was about. The government had a new rule. To keep his rabbit license, Hahne needed to write a rabbit disaster plan.
“Fire. Flood. Tornado. Air conditioning going out. Ice storm. Power failures,” Hahne said, listing a few of the calamities for which he needed a plan to save the rabbit.
Or maybe not. Late Tuesday, after a Washington Post article on Hahne was posted online, the Agriculture Department announced that the disaster-plan rule would be reexamined.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
Rabbit Disaster Plan: Kill it. Cook it. Eat it.
Would his disaster plan include rabbit stew?
Or a holy hand grenade?
I would have written back a detailed plan to build an escape pod that could be launched into orbit, and request grant funding to build and test such a device
But thats just me
“...Or a holy hand grenade?...”
Look’a tha’ BONES, man!?!? An’ tha Big Pointy Teeth!!!
“Cook, where’s my hasenpfeffer?”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bGvv2VUP_8
The comPost is a champion of bigger government. These kinds of farces are the friuts of the seeds they sow.
Hassenpfeffer.
Plan
http://apps.washingtonpost.com/g/page/politics/marty-the-magicians-disaster-plan-for-bunny/320/
Unbeliveable!
Really changes one’s viewpoint of “the rabbit died”, huh?
So far, the plan she has written is 28 pages.
“That’s pretty short,” given what the USDA asked for, Morgan said. She covered many of the suggested calamities: chemical leaks, floods, tornadoes, heat waves. But she was able to skip over some concerns that might apply to larger animals.
If the rabbit escapes, “it’s not going to bite people,” Morgan said. There was probably no need to describe how to subdue Casey with tranquilizer darts or coax her off the highway. “It’s not going to stop traffic and cause car accidents.”
When Hahne’s plan is finally ready, it will go into the envelope where he keeps his rabbit license. On one recent day, that envelope was on the dashboard, as Hahne drove to a gig at Little Angels Learning Academy in Battlefield, Mo. Casey was in the back, inside a travel cage. On the side were USDA-mandated stickers, to show which direction was up.
his disaster plan is easy. At anytime he can just make the rabbit “Disappear”.
I would use a rocket propelled ejection seat.
"I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?"
Surprised the WoPo would publish this, much as it worships the federal government.
Consequently, every "law" should pass a test for micromanagement sanity.
I have a feeling Tim the Enchanter is waiting to act as a highly paid FDA consultant.
““It’s not going to stop traffic and cause car accidents.””
Judging by the number of rabbit carcasses I’ve removed from the street in front of my home, automobiles are quite successful in subduing them. ;-)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.