It started more good conversations than he could count.
We ened up burying him with it. He wanted to be buried in his Dress Blues, but we still have not found them.
I hope being buried in a blue dress was close enough...
Posted on 12/30/2012 9:33:04 PM PST by NKP_Vet
A few days ago my best friend from High School sent me a 'Vietnam Veteran' hat. I never had one of these before and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ronn was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?"
"No" I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that hat?"
"Because I couldn't find one for the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh." the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"
God forgive but, I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936"
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun.
"Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude!", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. "That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah." he gave me the "don't threaten me look. "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the "I see you" gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security hat. Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of hat..
LOL!
Thanks for it.
Thanks for a good laugh. Walmartians? I will remember that one.
Reminds me of this ad:
State Farm® - State of Disbelief (French Model)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmx4twCK3_I
You don’t get over to Walmart often do you?
You don’t get over to Walmart often do you?
“When was the War of 1812?” is right up there with “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?” Classic!
It started more good conversations than he could count.
We ened up burying him with it. He wanted to be buried in his Dress Blues, but we still have not found them.
I hope being buried in a blue dress was close enough...
It is my favorite grocery store but I haven’t heard all of the left’s insults against it yet, they aren’t union, so the left goes after it’s customers as though the number one store has different people buying their Campbell’s soup there than are in other stores, although of course we are all pretty much in and out of all stores, since no American only shops at a single store.
Notice that they never go after the democrat supporting Costco for instance, or the union stores.
Thanks for the belly laugh!
I don’t care if this is true or not, it is funny.
When I used to wear my one dollar (400 piaster) off the street Vietnam bush hat (LeLoi and Nguyen Hue street market),I used to get lots of looks.
I think someone one asked me how many babies I had killed and I said, “Not enough”. That left them stunned and possibly shitting in their pants.
I didn’t kill anyone in Vietnam or Cambodia (I was a journalist) because the Communists had just gotten their asses handed to them in the Cambodian operation and they weren’t doing much besides licking their wounds.
You always have to have a series of retorts for the dumbos who ask you stupid or nasty questions.
The one about “Not enough” is good for shock value.
Another one, is “I stopped counting after 25”.
“Do you want me count the old folks too?”
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It’s crispy critter time.”
“Prisoners? What prisoners?” (PS: My son and his unit captured scores if not hundreds of Iraqi regulars in 2003 and those guys were extremely happy to surrender to an American soldier).
If you are in a crowd, the smart ones know that you are playing with the lefty’s head and enjoy it. The dumbos think that you are Ghengis Khan and avoid you like the plague (which was in Vietnam while I was there. The International Symposium on the Plague was held in my hotel).
Humor and ridicule are some of our best weapons. Be prepared and let the fools have both barrels (of monkeys). It’s so nice to see them squirm like a bucket of worms.
Seriously. I knew a guy who got killed in the sporting goods department of a southern California Walmart by some guy who grabbed a baseball bat and bashed his brains out . True story . Witnesses saw no motive for the murder but they tackled him and held him under arrest until the police arrived.
Love this story.
A completely safe life isn’t worth living.
Inre all the ‘don’t mess with old folks’ jokes, the ‘latest’?
“I was at WALMART the other day at the check out line and went to pay and the ‘good looking cashier’ said “Facing me, strip down”.
I unbuttoned my shirt and was starting on my pants when Security stopped me.
They just have to be more specific when instructing us ‘old fartz’ on these new fangled machines...
Inre all the ‘don’t mess with old folks’ jokes, the ‘latest’?
“I was at WALMART the other day at the check out line and went to pay and the ‘good looking cashier’ said “Facing me, strip down”.
I unbuttoned my shirt and was starting on my pants when Security stopped me.
They just have to be more specific when instructing us ‘old fartz’ on these new fangled machines...
I kind of liked the one where in Gulf War I, the journalist asked where the secret landing on the Kuwait shore was going to be. This, of course, is far funnier. Busted a gut!!
Love that hat, Reminds me of my father. Love the “Awards & Decs”.
Third gen Air Force
Yeah, the whole generation was chock full of quiet heros.
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