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Don't You Dare Open a Door for Me!
Townhall.com ^ | December 14, 2012 | Mona Charen

Posted on 12/14/2012 5:29:50 AM PST by Kaslin

Chivalry is back in the news. The always-alert Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute draws our attention to an item in the Psychology of Women Quarterly. A new study on what the authors are pleased to call "benevolent sexism" (which, as Murray translates, seems to mean gentlemanly behavior) found that both women and men are happier when men behave like gentlemen.

This being a sociological publication, though, the findings are not written in English, but rather in academic argot. It's full of sentences like this: "A structural equation model revealed that benevolent sexism was positively associated with diffuse system justification within a sample of 274 college women and 111 college men."

If you spend more than $100,000 on an undergraduate and graduate education in women's studies, you can learn to be this impenetrable, too.

The authors of the study were quick to warn readers about what they'd discovered. "Our findings reinforce the dangerous nature of benevolent sexism and emphasize the need for interventions to reduce its prevalence." Right. Though it seems to increase the life satisfaction of both sexes, it must still be eradicated.

When feminists set out to remake the sexes back in the 1970s, they seemed to choose all the wrong traits to emulate and/or eliminate. Women were encouraged to match the promiscuity, aggressiveness, and irresponsibility of men. In other words, women were to model themselves on the worst men. Meanwhile, the best traits of traditional men -- specifically their most chivalrous and protective impulses -- were to be maligned, mocked, and resented.

Still dancing on Mitt Romney's political grave, feminist writer Gina Barreca told the Washington Post's Gene Weingarten that Romney would be a "terrible, terrible date." (Leave it to a feminist who wants women to be taken seriously to evaluate a presidential candidate as a potential date.) Why? Because he'd be chivalrous. "Chivalry is the opposite of good manners. It's infantilizing. It's contempt masquerading as politeness. The chivalrous guy is establishing roles; he is the protector, you are Limoges. Your job is to let him be masterful. In my experience, when you are standing on a pedestal, there's not much room to move around. That's by design."

Emily Esfahani Smith isn't buying the chivalry as disguised power grab line. Writing in the Atlantic, she notes (as Rich Lowry has highlighted) the contrast between the Titanic and the Costa Concordia -- two sinkings 100 years apart. Three quarters of the women on the Titanic survived, while three quarters of the men died. In 1912, men would have been ashamed of themselves if they failed to protect women -- even at the cost of their lives. Was that just "contempt masquerading as politeness"? On the Costa Concordia, early in 2012, men shoved women aside to get into the lifeboats. Oh well, at least the women had more room to move around than on that darn pedestal.

Smith reminds us that chivalry arose in response to the violence and barbarism of the Middle Ages. "It cautioned men to temper their aggression, deploying it only in appropriate circumstances -- like to protect the physically weak and defenseless members of society." Obviously many men failed to fulfill the ideal. We've always had boorish behavior. But wasn't it preferable to label boorish behavior as such, rather than celebrate it as a victory for sexual equality?

The chivalric code persists to this day, despite the best efforts of the feminists. When a shooter opened fire at an Aurora, Colo. movie theater, no fewer than three young men protected their girlfriends from bullets with their own bodies -- and died in the process.

Smith includes an anecdote that sums up the case for chivalry. Samuel Proctor, pastor of Harlem's Abyssinian Baptist Church, tipped his hat to a lady. She was offended and demanded, "What is that supposed to mean?"

He replied: "Madame, by tipping my hat I was telling you several things. That I would not harm you in any way. That if someone came into this elevator and threatened you, I would defend you. That if you fell ill, I would tend to you and if necessary carry you to safety. I was telling you that even though I am a man and physically stronger than you, I will treat you with both respect and solicitude. But frankly, Madame, it would have taken too much time to tell you all of that; so, instead, I just tipped my hat."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: chivalry; feminism; feminists; sexism
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To: GOPsterinMA

All Buggery supporters are parasitic roaches! They are an infestation. Where is the Orkin man??


61 posted on 12/14/2012 7:53:32 AM PST by DarthVader (Politicians govern out of self interest, Statesmen govern for a Vision greater than themselves)
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To: Kaslin

OTOH
There is a flyer for a movie - From what I have seen, mostly Blacks in it (not that there is anything wrong with that) that had a ‘skit’ where this guy pulls up in a flashy sports car, blows his horn (he LOOKS rich etc), she. who is quite a looker, comes out and makes a statement along the lines “Any guy that dates me will come to the door etc..”, He says “OK”, slams the car in gear and takes off.....


62 posted on 12/14/2012 7:54:51 AM PST by xrmusn (6/98 "It is virtually impossible to clean the pond as long as the pigs are still crapping in it")
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To: lentulusgracchus

But... but... Marlo Thomas was so sweet & lovable in “That Girl”.

Oh...that was forty four years ago, in 1968. Oopsie.

“Time wounds all heels.”


63 posted on 12/14/2012 7:59:08 AM PST by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: Doogle
I open doors for LADIES....and if older,anyone. Say good morning to strangers,(if in the right neighborhood), will ask anyone who can’t reach something in the supermarket if they need help, and say “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” to most who are waiting on me. It started when I was 10 or so, it’s a habit.

I do the same things (except for addressing strangers...just not a habit of mine). I may be dead wrong but I associate the "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to be related to my Southern upbringing.

P.S. I'm finding it harder and harder to find people older than I to open doors for.

64 posted on 12/14/2012 8:02:45 AM PST by OldPossum
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To: DarthVader
“Where is the Orkin man??”

Probably going (gone) out of business...he sees the an unencumbered EPA on the horizon...

There are certain ovens that are still in existence though.

65 posted on 12/14/2012 8:04:09 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (Time to musk up.)
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To: GOPsterinMA

I’m so glad I don’t live around you.


66 posted on 12/14/2012 8:05:57 AM PST by Romulus
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To: OldPossum; Doogle
I may be dead wrong but I associate the "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to be related to my Southern upbringing.

I do it because I grew up in a military family. Now that I'm well on in middle age, if the other person is clearly quite a bit younger than I am, I might say "Son" or "Hon."

67 posted on 12/14/2012 8:13:09 AM PST by Tax-chick (I'm a nightmare, not a dream.)
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To: Romulus

Ok.


68 posted on 12/14/2012 8:19:00 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (Time to musk up.)
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To: melsec
I open the door for my dog as well but he doesn’t bite me when I do it!

Wow! That is the perfect thing to say when some feminazi questions your holding the door for them!!!

69 posted on 12/14/2012 8:28:57 AM PST by NonValueAdded (If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you've likely misread the situation.)
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To: GOPsterinMA

I hold doors for just about anyone, but women in particular. I have never been upbraided for this in my life. I am a woman-lover and a Southern Gentleman. I am a lover, a fighter, and a wild bull rider. I also help women or weaklings put their luggage in the overhead bin. Plus, I complement women, including liberal women, in a tasteful way and never received any gas for this. Gentlemen, you have to have some finesse.


70 posted on 12/14/2012 8:29:52 AM PST by olepap (God help us)
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To: GOPsterinMA

Man, you guys are sooo nice...

whenever i see a fubo sticker on a car, I glare right at them and flip them right off..

sometimes open hostility is the way to go!!


71 posted on 12/14/2012 8:29:55 AM PST by joe fonebone (The clueless... they walk among us, and they vote...)
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To: GOPsterinMA

Done the good old-fashioned way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs2Pskcm1DE

We are the Orkin man!!


72 posted on 12/14/2012 8:32:11 AM PST by DarthVader (Politicians govern out of self interest, Statesmen govern for a Vision greater than themselves)
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To: olepap

“I have never been upbraided for this in my life.”

Me either. It’s nice to be nice. But I’m changing my strategy, doesn’t mean anyone else has to.


73 posted on 12/14/2012 8:32:13 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (Time to musk up.)
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To: joe fonebone

“sometimes open hostility is the way to go!!”

100% completely agree with you. The RATS win by doing that. It’s long past time that “our” side wakes up and realizes the game has radically changed (and not for the better).

You either adapt to win or remain static and lose.


74 posted on 12/14/2012 8:37:47 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (Time to musk up.)
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To: DarthVader

Thank you Darth!


75 posted on 12/14/2012 8:37:58 AM PST by GOPsterinMA (Time to musk up.)
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To: Kaslin
Chivalry isn't dead at all. I have the door held open all the time for me and love it. But then again, I live in a city that is highly populated with active duty and retired military. Where men are still men.

Most men here probably don't even consider or take notice of women being rude in response to their gentlemanship. Or they quickly shake it off knowing that more are appreciative than not. I guess once you've faced the North Vietnamese or the Taliban in battle, a feminist's rudeness or lack of respect is almost pale in comparison.;)

76 posted on 12/14/2012 8:38:54 AM PST by 444Flyer
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To: Travis McGee

Why exactly would any red-blooded man look at THAT??


77 posted on 12/14/2012 8:39:07 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some cultures are destined to remain stupid and we need to quit trying to uplift them.)
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To: Doogle

Yep, me too. My parents raised me to say “Sir” to men I was interacting with, and “Ma’am” to females.

LOL...when my dad was dressing me down for something, and he asked “Do you understand?”, if I answered “Yes”, he would raise his voice slightly, and in a more severe voice, say “Yes...WHAT?”

To which I would always reply “Yes Sir”.

Interestingly, many women hate being referred to as “Ma’am”, but I can’t change.


78 posted on 12/14/2012 8:42:20 AM PST by rlmorel (1793 French Jacobins and 2012 American Liberals have a lot in common.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Why exactly would any red-blooded man look at THAT??

In wondering disbelief, I suppose.

79 posted on 12/14/2012 8:43:21 AM PST by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
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To: Kaslin

Feminists hate chivalry and gentlemanly behavior. they probably hate that when I walk with my wife, I walk on the curb side.


80 posted on 12/14/2012 8:49:47 AM PST by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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