Way too much to go into on a message board, and it’s more of a generational legacy thing than anything.
You can explore it on your own if you choose, or not.
It took me about 6 years of husband/dadhood, study and prayer to arrive where I am. I’m not going to even try to convince someone on a message board as I can’t post 6 years of studies and experience.
I think I'm going to have to choose not. Since it's a done deal, I did stay home, and the children are now adults, right or wrong, at this point it simply is. I can't see any utility in anything more than causally discussing it here.