Posted on 12/22/2011 6:25:58 AM PST by US Navy Vet
Antipathy towards stay-at-home mothers goes back to the early days of modern feminism.
This house believes that a woman’s place is at work. That is the motion The Economist’s editors invited me to oppose in a ten-day, online, Oxford-style debate. A friend urged me to decline. The motion is silly, she said. No one can seriously defend the view that women must be in the workplace. You will be left attacking a strawman. Don’t do it.
Well, I did do it. I have spent years studying the organized women’s movement, and I knew the motion would not lack for serious defenders. Antipathy towards stay-at-home mothers goes back to the early days of modern feminism. In her classic, The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan called the traditional suburban home a “comfortable concentration camp” and described housewives as “walking corpses.” But Friedan was a moderate compared to feminist pioneer Simone de Beauvoir. Beauvoir once said, “No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children … Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.”
(Excerpt) Read more at american.com ...
Pity their ignorance. I didn't anticipate the wisdom, patience, and creativity and other life skills I would develop during my stay at home years...it was supposed to be about THEM, not me. But in giving, one always gains.
But the feminists were using a straw man to bolster their ideas. There were very, very few voices that stated that “a woman's place is in the home” and only a minuscule opinion that “a woman should be barefoot and pregnant”. Those were caricatures developed by feminists so they would have something to fight against.
Consider this: Christianity and Judaism both hold the book of Proverbs as the best resource of wisdom in the scriptures. In Proverbs, there is this description of a good wife:
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An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships ; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.
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Note how many things she does that feminists would argue a woman was never allowed to do before they came along. She buys land, manages workers, makes the decisions on how to spend household money, sells products, has a working relationship with men outside her household, and does it all while having children and a husband who loves her.
If you want to see a woman who "has it all", look no further than Proverbs.
How many hours:
were you cooking?
were you cleaning?
was your child sleeping?
were you doing some other activity other than interacting with your child?
Don’t kid yourself, you only spent marginally more time with your children than a working mother.
Many stay-at-home mothers can’t wait to get away from their children. My wife cherishes every second with her son.
You should see the abuse that Mrs. WBill used to take from her "friends" and "coworkers" because she decided to stay home with the kids.
Crabs in a pot, all of them. Need to pull those that escape back down to their level. Actually, I'd bet that the ones giving her a hard time were just consumed by jealousy ("I wish I had all that!") or guilt (I wish I could stay home, too!).
We've since moved. Mrs WBill has gotten in with a couple of church / "Stay at home Mom" -type groups. The place where she works (part-time, one night a week) has new manager, one that doesn't keep pushing her to "quit this STUPID staying at home-thing and come work full-time".
Everyone is a whole lot happier, me included. Women can be incredibly catty.
She is a medical professional who chooses to work.
Ditto all of that. We made approximately all of the same choices and have never looked back. It's undoubtedly been for the best.
And frankly, we've not really "done without". Not much in the way of vacations. We stopped eating out almost completely. Otherwise, no real, substantiative changes in our lifestyles.
According to you, your wife 'chose' to work....OK
I chose to stay home....
Why do you want to know how many hours I cooked?...sheesh!
I was up and at em early in the morning making breakfast for my husband and children.....making lunches (when they started to school)....and having milk and cookies when the kids came home in the afternoon....and a hot meal at night for all of us to enjoy.
Does your wife not cook?....
Yes, and during the day I snuggled with my daughter and son when they were young, and when they napped....I cleaned the house.
Does your wife clean the house?.....
I too, cherished every second with my son and daughter, even when they were little mischievous munchkins.
What is your point?
HOUSEWORK is WORK, all day long, what crazies they are.
So they would have the woman out "working", and "HIRE" someone to come in a do the house work and a babysitter?
Well then who does the hired housekeeper get to keep her house? Hire herself a housekeeper,babysitter????? ROFL.
I chose to stay at home and raise my 4 children FIRST, then went to work outside the home. My children were the best job I ever had.
May I ask if you believe there are no welfare mothers who prefer to stay at home rather than work?
May I ask if you believe there are many single mothers who work of necessity and have to pay for daycare services?
May I ask if you believe that both mothers and fathers who work and use daycare centers are a bad example for their children?
May I ask if you believe it is the government’s business to decide if mothers should work - and if not - is it any of yours?
Daycare does provide socialization for children with no siblings. It also provides jobs for child care employees. Not all day care centers are warehouses and good parents perform due diligence.
There was a comment about this by a FReeper the other day.
The FReeper was talking to a female friend. The friend said, approximately, that "She was making $50/hr, and a nanny only cost $15/hr, so it was more cost-effective to go to work and hire a nanny".
Freeper's reply? "So, you think that your kids only deserve a $15/hr Mom, and not a $50/hr one?"
Perfect squlech, IMO.
I think that it's one thing if you NEED to work - or - if you CHOOSE to work. But, to choose to work, just to fulfill some feminist fantasy, is ridiculous
Some folks don’t realize that working doctor moms are busy seeing you and your children in their office.
Exactly! God bless.
I can see the resentment in the way your comments have been attacked here. Some people can get so jealous of the way others are willing to sacrifice for the good of their children.
I just cannot imagine paying a stranger to take care of my child just so I can have my career. But full-time motherhood is demanding, so it’s a lot easier for a lot of the whiners to just drop the kiddies off with someone else.
You were ticked off that someone made an assumption about your situation, why would you do the same? Are you rationalizing?
I can tell you that your assumption is flawed. My children received my time and attention all day long because I INVOLVED them in all my activities. And the benefit in that is that I directed their activities to teach them the values and behaviors I wanted them to learn through targeted play.
We PLAYED all day - our vacuum cleaner was a "goat" who gobbled up the bits of paper and stuff on the carpet, grocery shopping was a game of I SPY and looking for familiar faces on the labels of the products on the shelves. We "practiced" good behavior and bad - before going into a store, we would "get the Beggings out" by yelling at the top of our voices (me too) YOU NEVER LET ME...I WANT CANDY...HOW COME WE NEVER GET ANYTHING???? The kids thought it was a hoot, and if by chance one of them got a little whiny in the store, I'd say, "Whoops! I thought we got rid of all those "Beggings" when we were in the car....quick--put it in my purse! And I'd open my purse up to her mouth so she could (giggling) get the "Begging" out of her.
My kids were having fun, but they were also learning the lessons I wanted them to learn. If your child's "friends" at school are being raised with values similar to yours, perhaps it will work out fine. If not, you'll know that too.
How many of you self-righteous stay-at-home mothers take your children to a female doctor? How man of you personally see a female doctor? I’ll bet most of you use a female OB/GYN.
Think about that the next time you bash working mothers!
Seriously, why would a woman CHOOSE work over raising her own children? Some just can't handle it. Just saying....
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