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Math Teacher Arrested At JFK Airport. Suspected Of Belonging To Secret Terror Society
Friends and Fiends

Posted on 11/01/2011 3:25:07 PM PDT by MindBender26

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule" and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.'" When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: goodsatire; nobel; obama; poorsatire
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To: Clintonfatigued

Al-Gebra terrorized me in my high school days.

It’s been around a long time.

;)


41 posted on 11/01/2011 5:48:50 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: MindBender26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9dpTTpjymE


42 posted on 11/01/2011 5:56:10 PM PDT by patton ("Je pense donc je suis," - My Horse.)
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To: Kirkwood

Message in a bathroom stall: “Real engineers work it out with a pencil”.


43 posted on 11/01/2011 5:59:17 PM PDT by laker_dad
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To: patton

I’m waiting for someone to post a link to Tom Lehrer’s “New Math”. I’m on An iPhone in Turkey, so I cannot.


44 posted on 11/01/2011 6:00:48 PM PDT by MindBender26 (Forget AMEX. Remember your Glock 27: Never Leave Home Without It!)
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To: Larry Lucido
Tangentally, did they arrest the person who co-sined for his ticket?

Only in an elliptical manner.

45 posted on 11/01/2011 6:01:25 PM PDT by Professional Engineer (Never Again! Except for the next time.)
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To: MindBender26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXx2VVSWDMo


46 posted on 11/01/2011 6:07:04 PM PDT by patton ("Je pense donc je suis," - My Horse.)
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To: Allegra
I was forced into the Al-Gebra movement by Mrs. Smith. She wore a clever
disquise by coloring her hair and wearing frumpy clothing.
47 posted on 11/01/2011 6:08:21 PM PDT by MaxMax
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To: MindBender26
LOL!

I survived Al Gebra but was destroyed by Geo-Metry.......

48 posted on 11/01/2011 6:10:34 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco
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To: MrEdd

01001000 01100001 01101000 01100001

Good one!


49 posted on 11/01/2011 7:22:02 PM PDT by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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To: 386wt

Yes, but you have to order them from the same manufacturer that makes abacus batteries.


50 posted on 11/01/2011 7:26:01 PM PDT by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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To: MindBender26

I don’t get it.


51 posted on 11/01/2011 7:28:02 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: metmom
I always thought it was pretty easy.

Problem solved.

52 posted on 11/01/2011 8:42:32 PM PDT by BykrBayb (Somewhere, my flower is there. ~ Þ)
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To: BykrBayb

Well, that’s where the public school system left me off.

Then I encountered a math prof at college who could actually teach the stuff and make it make sense.

And then the homeschooling filled in the gaps. I learned more by homeschooling my kids than I ever learned out of 12 years of public education, and that was back in the days when you were told that you weren’t in school to socialize.


53 posted on 11/01/2011 9:24:38 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: All

The al-Gebra network is a bad sine. Its carnage is very graphic. it causes many *problems* for students. Reports now say its leader is the elusive al-Gorithm. We need to locate the coordinates of the teachers and set a trapezoid for them, because they are an integral part of the movement. It should be easy because they are in *plane* sight in the *area.* It shouldn't be hard to differentiate them from everybody else.

They make their recruits learn formulae involving bases...1/2base*height, etc...the Arabic term for base is...al-Qaida!

OK, I can stop now....
54 posted on 11/01/2011 9:44:02 PM PDT by G8 Diplomat (Martyr: Arabic word for "lousy fighter")
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