Well, the two .44s and the 12-gauge belong to me so...
Posted on 02/14/2011 10:20:47 AM PST by Libloather
Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
By Boyce Watkins, PhD on Feb 14th 2011 10:56AM
Most men know how expensive Valentine's Day can get. Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy. Valentine's Day is one of the most over-hyped holidays known to man, with advertising starting almost right after Christmas. Any man in a serious relationship is well-aware of the pending doom of his social life if he doesn't flex his wallet at least a little bit on that special day.
According to the National Federation's 2010 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, over $14 billion is spent on Valentine's Day-related purchases. This is roughly $103 for every single man, woman and child in America. Yes, the hype has real economic consequences.
What's even crazier is that 2010 doesn't even set a record. In 2008, $17 billion was spent on the holiday. (Perhaps all those 'Oprah Winfrey' shows about saving money kicked in and people started to show their love in ways that went beyond spending money.) These numbers make me wonder why I have to prove my love for others by busting my bank account on a holiday created by someone else.
The challenge of Valentine's Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. The struggle to find economic resources makes it difficult for men to become providers, and adds to the stress of black families that are already struggling to stay together. It also makes it difficult for single men to date or show affection to the woman in whom they may be interested, primarily because economic stability is highly correlated with the perception of an individual's manhood. Valentine's Day can only make the embarrassment that much worse for men who are trying to survive in an economy where they have the worst unemployment and educational levels in the nation.
My belief? African Americans may want to consider letting go of Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you -- but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources. By getting away from models of romantic interaction that become nothing more than economic exchanges, millions of members of the black community can find everlasting love.
And he has a PhD. I'm assuming he ain't one of the folks he's chatting about.
Could he possibly educate others on how to get a PhD? Your guess is as good as mine.
In the same spirit, should I refuse to honor MLK day on the grounds that affirmative action financially rewards persons based on their skin color (instead of their “character”)?
Who owns the real weapons in this relationship?
If you have a cell phone, you are not poor.
If you can afford tattoos, you are not poor.
If your shoes cost more than $50, you are not poor.
Having said that, Valentines Day is a bit of a scam....
Better?
There is a biological reason for St. Valentine’s Day.
The biological prerogative of most male animals including men is to spread their DNA to as many offspring as they can. But most female humans have a double prerogative of wanting to get the best male DNA for their offspring as they can, *and* to get the best provider male to help them raise their offspring. More advanced biology.
Ironically, the system works best in a system of monogamy, giving the best opportunities to the children. This is why socially enforced marriage has a biological purpose.
It gives men more assurance that his offspring will be his, and the woman protection that the man will help her raise their children. Thus it works better, gives better results, than just basic reproduction.
However, it thus makes sense for females to want reassurances from their mate that he is still loyal to her. This is why women are far more interested that important dates and events are remembered by her mate then men are. Her birthday, their wedding anniversary, their children’s birthdays, and St. Valentine’s Day are all opportunities for him to reassure her that he remains loyal to her and their children.
to the folk; save your money for kwanzaa gifts, show her that you really really care
well, i really was not trying to be... however, the issue is people spending money they don't have on Valentine's Day gifts... if a man has enough money to buy his wife a card, i say let him! if it's in the budget to bake a cake, i say bake the cake! if there is no money for these things, then one should not feel inclined to do them anyway... and if one does not care to celebrate this commercial holiday, then (hoping the significant other agrees) i say feel free to disregard! btw--my husband makes me one cup of coffee every morning without fail... i like to say it's his daily Valentine to me! i love Valentine's Day!
Why is it PC to celebrate “St. Valentine’s” -— Christian Martyr — But Christmas is a no no? I don’t get it.
The hood you live is named what - again?
I'll need your sister's number. Private mail will do.
You piqued my curiosity, so I goodle/wiki’d him .. went through four (4) universities to get that Ph.D. (IN/KY/Syr/OSU). His whole life seems dedicated to race, being a victim, and assuring other blacks they are victims. That has to be a horrible way to live, but it’s making him a living.
Well, the two .44s and the 12-gauge belong to me so...
Well, chocolate is good for relationships!, even if its just a Hershey bar.
In other words, she OWNS you. (Go ahead, you can say it.)
Yeah, there is a reason why blacks have high blood pressure. It comes from worrying about this kind of drivel. Buy her a card, show up straight and treat her like a woman. Cost you two-fifty for the card. She’ll probably faint but when she comes to she’ll appreciate it.
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