Posted on 01/22/2011 4:43:22 PM PST by neverhome
I’ll take your word for it....
Olberdork posted 15 times?
you got me
New slogan:
Fair and Unbalanced
I almost knocked over my glass of wine when I saw this headline! It was an hour or two before I would even click into the post, it was so depressing. Glad that I did and found out it was an April Fool’s joke! Now I can sleep tonight.
7 million and a pallet of depends was his price.
He poops in his pants and still can’t drive a car,ever since his brain trauma.
In August 1980, he suffered a head injury while “leaping” onto the NYC subway
You had me going for a second
I downed my entire glass of wine waiting for the page to load!
Very good. I really want to see posts 2 - 15. They were probably hysterical in every sense of the word!
Spot on! NautiNurse for the win!
‘.. I had to run and get an aspirin to chew at what I thought was an oncoming heart attack when I read that headline!...’
lol. I had the same reaction...
Olbermann is an actor, in his next role he’ll play a conservative host$$$$$.
LOL spam?.....;-D
Or passed out face-down on the “enter” key...;D
The hair dye is seeping into his brain.
10 Int. LISTER'S quarters.
LISTER is blowing a large bubble with bubble gum. Once he's satisfied, he holds up a spanner and ruler to measure it, then pulls the gum out his mouth with the bubble intact and still attached.
LISTER: Ten and three-quarter centimeters! Plus five for not breaking and that is a big, big score! The Brown's are going to have to do something quite sensational with their last bubble. Quite clearly. (Puts new gum in his mouth.)
HOLLY: Busy, Dave?
LISTER spits his gum across the room in surprise.
LISTER: Well, yeah, I am, actually! HOLLY: Oh. Then you won't want to know about the two super-lightspeed fighters that are tracking us.
LISTER: What?! .
HOLLY: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate. .
LISTER: No, Holly. Hol. Come on. .
HOLLY: They're from Earth. .
LISTER: That's three million years away. .
HOLLY: They're from the NorWEB Federation. .
LISTER: What's that? .
HOLLY: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave. .
LISTER: Me? Why? What for? .
HOLLY: For your crimes against humanity. .
LISTER: You what?! .
HOLLY: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen. .
LISTER: Did I? .
HOLLY: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years? .
LISTER: Yeah, they go mouldy. .
HOLLY: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the. world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB. .
LISTER: Why NorWEB? .
HOLLY: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds. .
LISTER: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding! .
HOLLY: (Wearing a Grouch-Marx glasses-nose-and-moustache) April Fool. .
LISTER: But it's not April! .
HOLLY: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat. .
LISTER: So you just made it all up, then? .
HOLLY: Yeah. Bit of excitement for a while, wasn't it? You can't beat a good wheeze. Huhu! .
He’s better at making messes than at cleaning them up.
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