Traveler: I opt out.
TSA agent: OK, we'll have to give you a full pat down, including both thighs up to the groin.
Traveler: sigh if you must. But in the interests of full disclosure, you need to know that due to some unpleasant events in my past, which I neither want to discuss nor even think about, I'm told that the I beat the last guy who touched my crotch into a bloody pulp. Mind you, I have no recollection of actually doing this, and I think I can control it if I can brace myself for the unwanted contact. Still, I want you to know that I have the highest respect for you and admire the difficult job you do, so if I have a full psychotic break and injure you, it's nothing personal, and I have no conscious control over it.
(pause)
Traveler: Your move.
Much better is to tell the TSA agent that it’s OK, the doctor says the disease is dormant and not communicable today. Or was that yesterday?
Even better. Drink the “Go Lightly” prep for a colonoscopy about 1/2 hour before you opt out. lol
“Traveler: sigh if you must. But in the interests of full disclosure, you need to know that due to some unpleasant events in my past, which I neither want to discuss nor even think about, I’m told that the I beat the last guy who touched my crotch into a bloody pulp. Mind you, I have no recollection of actually doing this, and I think I can control it if I can brace myself for the unwanted contact. Still, I want you to know that I have the highest respect for you and admire the difficult job you do, so if I have a full psychotic break and injure you, it’s nothing personal, and I have no conscious control over it. “
the crazy thing is they’d still let the psychotic traveler go through as long as he cleared the scanner.