Let me try..
Wanted: Ivy League college graduate who is familiar with the radical environmentalist agenda able to read propaganda and create reports determining how American big business is polluting the earth.
Should have a familiy member already involved in the cause, however will take someone who has either been to law school or who is planning on going to law school.
Prefer female, minority candidate or will accept white male candidate providing his family is already funding or will commit to funding environmentalist organizations.
You just described Algore.................
You forgot military preferences.