Posted on 04/13/2010 4:08:14 PM PDT by bonidee
I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm clock, which is powered by electricity provided by the public power monopoly that is regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then proceeded to take a shower in clean, drinkable water from the Municipal Water Utility. After that, I watched on of the FCC regulated channels on my TV to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determinded the weather would be like by usinc satellites launced, maintained, designed and built by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking my medication that was deemed safe for me to use by the Food and Drug Administration.
At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology, and the US Naval Observatory, I got into my National Highway and Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out on roads built by local, state and federal Departments of Transportation. I stopped and purchased fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.
After work, I drove my NHTSA car back over the DOT roads, to a house which has not burned down in my absence thanks to state and local building codes, as well as the fire marshall's inspection. In the event that it had been set ablaze, I would expect for the fire department to make themselves present and douse the flames. Upon realizing that this hasn't happened, I also noticed that my residence had also not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police fighting crime in my neighborhood.
I then log onto the internet, which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on freerepublic.com and the Fox News Forums about now Socialism in medicine is bad and the government can't do anything right.
I was fortunate. Since I liked almost everything and had a healthy appetite, my parents didn’t make me eat the few things I hated. But I had to “at least try” everything.
Fair enough. :)
My parents made me eat liver once a week. I could NOT eat the stuff. I put it in my knee socks, and fed it to the dog. :)
My God, I had no idea it was like that. That is one of the most horrendous things I have ever seen. My heart breaks for the Cubans that couldn’t get out. The ones that chose to stay, well, enjoy.
I’m so glad you posted this in Breaking News!!!!
Oh please add me to your pingy thingy for zots....(isn’t it more fun when the poster doesn’t get banned though? hehe)
{giggle} You said “socks.”
Ground beef and chicken thighs For The Win!
Thank you for your kind words; I know that one day, our kids will be the ones to straighten out this mess, if we don’t get around to it soon...and people like the original poster will be dragged, kicking and screaming, right along with them, into a better tomorrow.
I’m laughing so hard reading all these posts I can hardly see the keyboard....
You know what they say.....Paying people not to work, it’s what liberal trolls want all the time...
I think our zotted little sheep lives that line so well.....
Hi Cleve! Yep, this is a pretty funny thread. The original poster is a complete retard, of course, which always helps.
The ZOT ping lists are one of the greatest things about FR!
Hey how do I get one of those getting paid not to work gigs?
Would I have to get a lobotomy and start voting Democrat first?
None of these socialist/marxist wankers ever go live in the paradises of Cuba, Venezuela, or N. Korea, of course.
You had me at 40-weight motor oil...
You forgot to mention how you stopped to pick up your kid from school, where he learned today about alternate lifestyles and how to use a condom.
He also had to stay after school because he asked an inappropriate question, and will be suspended for taking an aspirin tablet to school.
But, hey, it’s all good. He has to learn how to live in the brave new world, because he will get the same crap in the work place.
And, of course, you listend to NPR on your way home, so that my tax dollars could support you hearing your liberal propaganda. Sure, that’s fair.
Of course, you can be happy that the food you eat was blessed by the FDA. For example, they spent thousands of dollars on tests to see which catsup flows most slowly. Be comforted by that. I’m sure most of your tax money was spent at least as wisely as that.
Oh, and your tax dollars support Congressmen like Charles Rangel, who sit on committees to tax us and spend our money, but who find ways not to pay taxes themselves.
Yeah, Government is always good. Trust them.
reminds me of a story told to me by my friend’s wife yesterday. they had a neighbor squeal about them cutting trees(on their own land).
The city sent SIX inspectors to come oversee and tell them which of their own trees they could and could not cut down.
You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you.
You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.
May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you.
You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.
You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything.
Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and generally Not Good.
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