[Made In The USA]

To assist the GOP in this important endeavor, I, the non-Senator from Western NY, rise in favor of the following amendments:

1. The Superbowl moves to Saturday, so that any potential hangover does not interfere with the productivity of American workers on a Monday.

2. The Buffalo Bills are given all draft picks for the next 10 years.

3. Creation of a new Federal holiday in honor of Jim ‘Machine Gun’ Kelly, #12, QB, and master of the hurry up offense.

4. That the USDA modify the food chart to show ‘Flutie Flakes’ breakfast cereal as an essential part of your daily diet.

5. The Department of Homeland Security to replace all staff with members of the Bills offensive line up from the 1990’s Superbowl years. Bruce Smith to be appointed head of DHS, because - hey, have you SEEN that guy?

6. For the FCC to label the phrases ‘wide right’ and ‘consecutive Superbowl losses’ as offensive language not permitted on Television.

7. Bills scoring drive victory song “Shout” to replace the National Anthem.

8. In the interest of furthering leadership in America, human cloning to remain illegal with the exception of head coach Marv Levy.

9. As a part of the Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the jumbo-tron at Ralph Wilson Stadium shall be tripled, beer taps installed at the end of each aisle, and tailgate-ready parking made free to the public. NO roof or related structure shall be permitted.

10. Creation of a Senate Subcommittee on the Buffalo Bills Cheerleading. An oversight and review board of the Buffalo Jills. It is important that these proud American young ladies dancing in the red, white, and blue of our great country are carefully selected and closely monitored. I, the non-senator of WNY offer my personal assistance in this regard.

[alancarp]

You’re an outight partisan!

[Nachum]

2. The Buffalo Bills are given all draft picks for the next 10 years.

Bears, Lions, and Cleveland fans might have an issue with that one.

[metmom]

Ya know, I know Buffalo fans are the most loyal in the nation, but you’ve got it bad.

[Terpfen]

11. The immediate demolition of Ralph Wilson Stadium and a 100 foot statue of Dan Marino erected in its place.

[Interesting Times]

To assist the GOP in this important endeavor, I, the non-Senator from Western NY, rise in favor of the following amendments...

Here's another one: the pay of Federal employees shall be indexed to the average pay in the private sector. Since Federal pay is about 50% higher today, we'll start with a Federal salary freeze of indefinite length.