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Subject: HELP IS ON THE WAY

>>
>> DON’T WORRY, HELP IS ON THE WAY!!!!
>>
>>
>>
>> Due
>> to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown
>> in the
>> economy,
>> Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers
>> of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus
>> creating jobs and
>> reducing
>> unemployment.
>>
>> This scheme
>> will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged
>> People
>> Early)..
>>
>> Persons
>> selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be
>> considered for
>> the
>> SHAFT program
>> (Special Help After Forced
>> Termination).
>>
>> Persons who
>> have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under
>> the SCREW program
>> (System Covering Retired-Early
>> Workers).
>>
>> A person may
>> be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
>> Congress deems
>> appropriate.
>>
>> Persons who
>> have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional
>> Income for Dependants & Spouse)
>> or HERPES (Half Earnings
>> for Retired Personnel Early
>> Severance).
>>
>> Obviously
>> persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
>> SCREWED any
>> further by
>> Congress.
>>
>> Persons who
>> are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as
>> much SHIT (Special High
>> Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always
>> prided
>> themselves on
>> the amount of SHIT they give our
>> citizens.
>>
>> Should you
>> feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring
>> this to
>> the attention
>> of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all
>> the SHIT you can
>> handle.
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> The Committee
>> for Economic Value of Individual Lives
>> (E.V.I.L.)
>>
>> PS - - Due to
>> recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity,
gas
>> and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light
>> at the End of the Tunnel has been turned
>> off.

Curtis Richardson