Posted on 01/18/2010 2:00:01 PM PST by conimbricenses
PORT-AU-PRINCE (Reuters) - Haiti's voodoo priests are objecting to anonymous mass burials as an improper way to handle the tens of thousands of dead from the earthquake -- and have taken their complaint to President Rene Preval.
Dumping the dead in hurriedly excavated mass graves without proper rites is seen as desecration in a country where many believe in zombies -- dead bodies brought back to life by supernatural forces who could persecute the living.
(Excerpt) Read more at reuters.com ...
I genuinely wish this article was a piece of satire. It is not though. The Haitian voodoo practitioners (which are estimated to make up between 50-80% of the population) are genuinely concerned that all the dead bodies are going to come back to life as zombies.
Who says reason is dead?
Dig a pit, stack the bodies, and bring in a flamethrower. Burning is the best and fastest way to dispose of bodies.
And if we have a “World War Z” on our hands,then head for the hills.
Do you suppose this is why they were said to be burning bodies on piles of used tires?
I think a zombie infestation might be good for Haitian tourism.
They will have more than walking zoombies to worry about if they don’t burn or bury all those sun bloated bodies.
Five days after the earthquake, scores of untouched corpses, now bloated and stinking, remain on streets. Red Cross officials have repeatedly said no one should fear disease from dead bodies after the earthquake that is believed to have killed up to 200,000 people.
Don't worry about corpses from a public health standpoint? And from the Red Cross, no less?
Here’s the curious thing....we bring all these Marines...which I felt was curious and kinda strange. Then you have a aircraft carrier just a couple of miles off the coast. Frankly, I think the Pentagon has dusted off Plan 6604-1 (the Zombies at our frontdoor scenario). The real note to this...will be if several CNN guys just up and disappear overnight....and then they hustle all their players out of the country on some charter boat.
Maybe this was that “pact with the devil” thing that whats-his-name was talking about.
Obama today is moving the “infestation” up to Florida on C-17’s flying into at least 4 Florida airports.
If you want to know why the relief effort is so dysfunctional, this is it. Instead of actually doing something to get food and supplies to people in the streets, the President of Haiti is holding meetings on how to prevent a zombie uprising from all the dead bodies.
The country of Haiti is simply dysfunctional. Its very existence on our doorstep is a nuisance - the Western Hemisphere's Somalia or Bosnia. Always has been. Always will be.
I think the gov’t should give the priests permission to do ceremonies at the mass grave or over the dump trucks as they enter the site. They should not stop mass interring them, but I think they should make accomodations on this issue.
Why, you may ask? Because our people there don’t need a more freaked out and frightened population, especially one that can be easily taken advantage of by roving gangs dressed as zombies. Doing a token ceremony over the remains may eliminate one source of craziness from the environment over there and eliminate one more source of disorder (not that there’s any shortage of those).
LQ, who thinks voodoo is bunk but knows what can happen in a primitive population when you violate their superstitions.
True.
Complete cremation is the most sanitary means of disposing bodies.
Dead bodies release fluids which invariably enter the groundwater system, if they are merely buried.
“zombies — dead bodies brought back to life by supernatural forces who could persecute the living.”
The difference in definition between zombies and politicians is to change the word “could” to “do.”
The Red Cross and Obama are loading up C-17s with Haitians to invade Florida. They are landing at 4 airports today. One airport was expecting 20 flights. Obama is importing voters.
I do not trust the Red Cross death toll numbers. Someone posted high res pictures of the airport from the US Air Force. Oddly there was no damage. No serious building damage, no damage to the runways or any surrounding buildings around the airports for miles.
The media is lying to us as usual.
The University of Florida did that pdf file Zombie Attack... this is a link from that pdf file
http://io9.com/5286145/a-harvard-psychiatrist-explains-zombie-neurobiology
Execerpt from pdf file’’’’
7 While many people refer to “undead,” practitioners in the field of Zombie Studies and zombie advocates
such as PETZ: People for the Ethical Treatment of Zombies, and supporters of Florida Zombie Preserve,
Inc. insist that the term “undead” clearly connotes deficiency; specifically the absence of both life and
death. Hence, we suggest here the term “life impaired” to recognize the difficulties imposed on a former
person by zombie behavior spectrum disorder (ZBSD) but without suggesting the former person is
somehow “deficient” as a result of the infection.
Who cares what they object to. If they are too ignorant to understand that leaving bodies to rot in the sun will contribute to a a health hazard to everyone then ignore them.
INFECTED CO-WORKER DISPATCH FORM
Personal Information
Name: ___________________________________________________________ UFID: ___________
Work Phone: _________________ Work Address: _________________________________________
Work Department/Unit: _________________________________________________________________
Incident Information
Date of Incident: ___________________ Location: _________________________________________
This is to verify that at the time and place indicated above I was required to kill _____________________
(last name)
_____________________, UFID # _______________ because he / she was displaying the following
(last name) (if known)
symptoms of ZBSD, or Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder (check all that apply):
_____ headache _____ fever
_____ chills _____ other flu-like symptoms
_____ unresponsive to most stimuli _____ moaning
_____ references to wanting to eat brains _____ recently dead but moving again
_____ large areas of decaying flesh or open wounds
_____ lack of rational thought (this can cause problems confusing zombies with managers)
_____ killed and ate another employee: _____________________________________________
(name and unit of other employee)
Based on these symptoms I killed ____________________________________________ using a:
(name of dispatched zombie)
_____ handgun _____ rifle
_____ shotgun _____ baseball bat
_____ chainsaw _____ piece of furniture
_____ explosive device - _________________________________________________________
(describe device)
_____ other - _________________________________________________________________
(describe)
Dispatching Employee
One of the things our modern syncretist Christians forget is that Christianity - pure, orthodox Christianity - sets people free.
If Haitians were really Christians, they would know they have nothing to fear. The Christian faith overcomes witch doctors, zombies, curses and spells.
But our modern watered-down Christianity tolerates voodoo and in fact I have seen theoretically Christian groups in Florida treating it as if it were just a harmless local eccentricity.
Time to bring out the Inquisition and make sure that everybody in Haiti believes the real thing and not this voodoo garbage!
Seriously, the thing that the Spanish Inquisition attacked in the New World was syncretism, that is, the mixture of native beliefs and Christianity. It’s also interesting to note that the majority of the people punished for it were clergy. Only one member of an indigenous group was put to death for it, and he had been educated in Europe and should have known better. But a number of Spanish clergy were punished, including being put to death, for practicing syncretism.
Christians have to demand orthodoxy in their teachers, and Haitians need it desperately.
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