[al baby]

They can pry me soft toilet tissue from my cold dead ass

[RexBeach]

If they outlaw soft toilet paper, only outlaws will have soft toilet paper.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

...damn near killed him!

[IAMIUBU]

Thanks! I needed the laugh!

[EveningStar]

(_o^o_)

[BJClinton]

Al...you're supposed to wipe and throw it in the toilet.

[OldPossum]

“They can pry me soft toilet tissue from my cold dead ass.”

What a visual image!

[goat granny]

thats hands al baby hands....ROFLOL

[jurroppi1]

Reminds me of Clerks:
- Oh. Can l help you ?

Well, uh, that depends.
You got maybe a toilet in here ?

- Yeah, but it’s for employees only.

I understand.
But I, uh, thought maybe
you’d let me use it anyway.

I’m not so young anymore and I’m,
how do you say, a little incontinent.

- Sure. in the back, through the cooler.

Thank you, sonny boy.

Say, uh, what kind of toilet paper
you got back there ?

- The white kind.

I didn’t ask about the color.

I mean, is it rough
or is it cottony ?

- Actually, it’s kinda rough.

Oh, boy !

It’s gonna knock the hell
out of my hemorrhoids.

I thought maybe you could
Let me have a roll of the soft stuff.

I see you sell
the soft stuff back there.

- Yeah, but—

Come on, boitshik !
What’s the difference ?

You said yourself
you have the rough stuff in the back.

- Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

Thank you, sonny boy.

You’re a lifesaver.

H/T to whoever posted it on a similar thread at FARK.com