Kids as "young adults"

Townhall.com ^ | December 1, 2009 | Rebecca Hagelin

[Kaslin]

Just who is a "young adult"?

Common sense says it starts with legal adulthood at age 18. But elements of our society have unofficially declared that the onset of adulthood matches the onset of puberty at the very grown-up age of 12. Which is one of the reasons why parents often seem uncertain about how to parent during the critical teen years.

I've come to believe that the term was designed to diminish parental influence during the years when our growing children need the most direction. It's a subtle way of telling us that we should relinquish our influence in their lives and allow the "professionals", who supposedly understand our sons and daughters better than we do, to help free them from parental prejudices.

Great religious faiths, most notably Judaism, see the onset of manhood and womanhood at age 13 from a much wiser perspective. They understand that the child can personally choose to fully embrace his or her faith and live out that faith in a very tangible way. Rather than leaving the children to their own devices or delivering them to the hands of secularists, the parents make certain their children are immersed in contact with the religious leaders and teachings the parents hold dear. In stark contrast, the popular culture teaches our children that their parents' faith is easily exchangeable with another and even holds antiquated or oppressive moral standards which should be abandoned least the "young adult" become a full-grown bigot.

That of course, includes freeing our children from our sexual morals. I remember getting a required reading list from my daughter's school when she was 12 and then heading to the library to check out the content of the books. All of them were in a section marked, "young adults". That was puzzling enough, given that she had just left grammar school. So imagine how I felt when I started leafing through some of the books and found, not just adult concepts, but immoral xxx-rated adult content. It seems such material is common in the "young adult" section. (Ever heard of the series, "Gossip Girl"? The popular raunchy teen television show was based on this equally raunchy fiction series that has been teaching our little girls about incest, sleeping around, and all-things "adult" for years. That series can be found in the "young adults" section of many libraries too.)

"Young adult" is the phrase that you often hear to describe your child when sex educators and Planned Parenthood types try and convince you that your daughter should be making her own decisions about her sexual identification, activity and, of course, abortions.

Age 12 is also about the time when pediatricians (note: doctors who take care of children) now often ask mom to leave the room so they can have a private discussion with our "young adult" about birth control and "choice".

But who will be held responsible will when your "young adult" gets into trouble? Only you.

Don't abandon your child.

In survey after survey of teens they echo a desire for more of you in their lives, not less.

Your teen understands that you should be the primary one to guide and teach them even though the culture tries to brain wash them into believing otherwise.

Refuse to be silenced when some professional refers to your child as a "young adult" in the same sentence they tell you that they are the adult your child should rely on.

Again, the Jewish faith offers a time-honored way to deeply connect with and influence your child at any age:

Bless your child every day with loving, meaningful touch. Bless your child with positive words, and with a vision for his life of a bright future filled with hope. Bless your child by letting her know that as long as there is breath in you, you will be there for her. Bless your child by telling him there is a God who loves and created him with purpose.

These parental blessings are treasures for children - and adults - of any age. Don't let anyone keep you from blessing yours.

[jabchae]

Have you talked to any High School kids? The ones with the Pokemon and Hello Kitty toys hanging off their phones?

Western society has engineered ways to keep "adolescents" busy and out of the workforce. In early America teens couldn't count generally count on their parents to subsidize their idleness and carelessness. So, they go on with their (adult) lives--e.g., getting married, going into business, getting diplomatic posts.

Your nine-year old will perhaps be ready for something more substantial by age 14. You seem to be doing a better job with him/her.

[Turbo Pig]

My new theory is that an adult is someone who manages to pay all of his or her own bills for one entire year, while not living in someone else’s house for free. Until then, don’t talk to me about what’s fair or what you deserve.

You, my FRiend, are BRILLIANT!!!!

[MrB]

Courtship is a better plan -

one question - what is the goal of one on one dating?

[netmilsmom]

>>one question - what is the goal of one on one dating?<<

Sex./s/

Seriously, I didn’t “date”. I went out with friends.

My girls will do the same. I like the courtship idea.

[MrB]

You’re absolutely right, at least in the boy’s mind and intentions.

When there’s a courtship, it is recognized up front that the goal is to determine compatibility for marriage, the suitability of the young man for the father’s daughter, and that they are both to arrive at the altar morally pure.

[netmilsmom]

Exactly.

We will approve of the dates right in our own home. They will be alone only in the sense of around the tv with the dog.

A long time ago a FReeper told of how he handled “dates”. The young man was to pick the daughter up from the home livingroom where Dad always seemed to be cleaning his guns.

We have guns too.

[netmilsmom]

Thank you.
We try.

A few years ago, when she was seven, we volunteered to help friends get a house ready to sell. While my girls and I painted the deck, their nephew (nine years old at the time) did nothing but whine that he wasn’t home playing his Xbox.

The parents said nothing. I realized at that point what our job was as parents. Not to make happy kids but rather to make responsible adults.

We went camping with this family during the summer. The kid is now 11 and just as much of a whiner. My girls helped set up and he whined. I’m amazed to this day.

[denfurb]

So true...I hate when people say their pre schoolers have a girlfriend/boyfriend in class

[cvq3842]

Interesting point. thanks.

[Clemenza]

Kids are much ‘younger’ today than they were even in my day (I graduated high school in 1990), and certainly less mature and responsible than in my parents’ day.

All thanks to their stupid parents who baby them into thinking they are still a "kid" until they are past college.

Time to end high school at grade 10 and/or send the young adults to vocational school or college if they want. We used to have young MEN by 15, ready to face the world, now we have babies thanks to the soft, suburban douchebags that have shaped most of our nation's children since the end of WWII.

Someone who is 16 or 17 year old should never be referred to as a "child." It says alot about the state of our society that they are considered so.

[HGSW0904]

Both of my grandfathers fought in WWII, and both of them said they were just scared kids doing as they were told; they loved their country, that was all they knew.

So don’t give me this ‘men at 15’ macho trip. Their brains aren’t done cooking til they are well into their 20’s. I find the notion of a ‘child’ at 16 a bit much, too; but they are still a far cry from adult, young or otherwise. I believe that’s why they coined the term ‘teenager’.