Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?

CNN ^ | October 28, 2009

[MinorityRepublican]

(CNN) -- If you were to judge the success rate of monogamy by the sex lives of public figures, perhaps couples should change their marriage vows to say, "Till a tempting new partner do us part."

Talk-show host David Letterman recently joined former presidential candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer on a long list of politicians and entertainers (think Jude Law) who have admitted having sex outside their marriage or committed relationship.

But do they just illustrate the realities of modern life?

In the age of hookups, friends with benefits and online dating, and as human life expectancy grows, is it still reasonable to expect people to pair up and stay monogamous until death do them part?

"It's realistic that some people can mate for life in the same sense that some people can play the Beethoven violin concerto or other people can ice-skate beautifully or learn a new language," said psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton.

Added evolutionary biologist David Barash, "It's within the realm of human potential, but it's not easy."

Lipton and Barash, who have been married 32 years and are the co-authors of "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Myth of Monogamy," said serial monogamy may be more realistic -- a model in which people move from one committed long-term relationship to another and choose partners for different reasons at different stages of their life.

[onedoug]

I’ll try to live Issac’s example, thanks.

[Uncle Miltie]

To effect Communism, you must first destroy the Family.

[sthguard]

“It’s within the realm of human potential, but it’s not easy.”

As opposed to the constant risk of STDs, endless comparisons among partners, emotional betrayal, meaningless relationships, and (for guys at least) child support payments?

[sodpoodle]

Expect Obama to initiate some sort of “Copulation Care Reform” after his uber successful “Health Care Reform”.

Under his Health Care benefits citizens will stay younger & more fertile longer with increased vitality, greater vibrancy, more physically active, enhanced sexual attractiveness and potency that mandatory new coupling arrangements will be necessary to spread the sexual wealth.

[a fool in paradise]

The MSM is trying to bring back wife-swapping I see.

[Scythian]

Been married 17 years, yes, it’s possible, it’s the best way to live ...

[sthguard]

It's no coincidence that 1984 and Brave New World, both socialist dystopias, either devalue the family or eliminate it completely.

[SecondAmendment]

Ruh ro, is Zero hitting the interns too ??

[dljordan]

Gee, I don’t know. Let me see how the next 30 years go.

[NativeNewYorker]

[lightman]

I'm married almost 27 years and wouldn't want it any other way...but what I see among colleagues and acquaintances is de facto serial monogamy.

[ctdonath2]

Yes.
Next question?

[rarestia]

Numerous studies have proven that pattern and routine are key to maintain stress levels, happiness, and good health. By constantly drifting from one partner to another, not knowing where your seed is going, not knowing who else has been with that person, it’s not conducive to good health and well being.

Human beings are an order of intelligence above most species. Look at birds, they mate for life, as do some primates. This has absolutely nothing to do with the Bible or religion, this is a common sense morality issue. Cavorting with numerous partners in this day and age is a bad idea.

I’ve found my lady for life, and I couldn’t be happier. Knowing that same woman will be there for me for the rest of my life is a lot better than wondering what inkwell I’ll be dipping into next.

[Buckeye McFrog]

the ongoing effort to totally deconstruct marriage and the family just never lets up

[texmexis best]

76% of people who marry, marry once.

[BenLurkin]

So.........how long will it be before criticizing bigamy becomes a form of “hate speech”?

[sodpoodle]

****It’s no coincidence that 1984 and Brave New World, both socialist dystopias, either devalue the family or eliminate it completely.****

Modern day prophecy...should have long ago been included as the New New Testament in the Bible.

We are already living those predictions with IVF and the most recent science cloning news - surrogate mothers and abortion as birth control. We are witnessing 21st century barbarians among us.

[sthguard]

Hey, anything’s better than “The Message Remixed”! ;-)

[Mustangman]

Theoretically, we could all play around and come home to our mates....both with the full knowledge of the others ‘playtime.’ In reality, though, this does not work because it is impossible to seperate the ‘playtime’ from the rest of your being. Emotions, insecurities, and trusts issues will just burst to the top. Ultimately, any thrill that one gets from ‘playing’—and there is a thrill, no denying that— is just far outweighed by the ‘confusion, pain, chaos’ it creates in the rest of your life.

With that said, if the relationship is not a loving one, disregard everything written above. And, admittedly, you ‘swingers’ out there are either not in love with your spouse, on drugs, or have absolutely no jealousy bone in your body whatsoever. I suspect you are simply not in love but, some people swear that they are. Who am I to say what the truth is.