Her name is Lorri.
Sad to say, in the midst of radiation treatments, she told me she already agreed to add some new stuff to her to do list. I tried to talk some sense into her to slow down, but I’m not sure she heard me. She’s a great scholar, becoming very well known in her field, but she is scared to death that she isn’t doing enough for tenure and if she says ‘no’ to anything, she’ll negatively affect her tenure chances. I think she’s mistaken, but I can’t get her to act any differently. I also think it’s a personality thing, being a people-pleaser.
Fortunately for me, I hate people, so I don’t have these issues. : )
You might tell her, at the proper moment (I pray God tells you when that is) that you know YOU cannot change anything in HER life; that YOU are not in charge of her life, only yours. You have prayed and prayed that she do the right thing....you are now, "prayer spent" and she's on her own. YOU MUST REALLY BELIEVE THIS WHEN YOU SAY THIS--IT'S GOT TO BE TOTALLY THE TRUTH...YOU'RE SPENT. Tell her you love her, and respect the fact that only SHE can change her habits...AND MUST (be firm). [...let a moment or two pass, then change your demeanor to sadness and say...] You will miss her dearly, if she takes her current path to her demise; but only SHE is in charge of when that happens.
By that point...said at the right time....she should be in tears and change might be possible.
LOL! You sound like my younger sister!
I'll put Lorri on our Parish Prayer List, both for healing of the cancer, and the strength to tell people "NO"!