Posted on 06/23/2009 4:52:16 PM PDT by Bokababe
Reunions of adopted children and their birth parents are usually heartwarming moments in which tears flow and broken bonds are made whole in mere seconds.
At least that's how it usually plays out on "Oprah."
But that wasn't the case last Dec. 13, when an Atlantic City woman came face to face with the daughter she placed for adoption 30 years ago after being raped.
This short reunion on the woman's doorstep left her feeling "violated, in shock, and short of breath," according to a lawsuit filed Thursday in U.S. District Court, in Camden, and she believes that a division of New Jersey's Department of Children and Families helped set up the traumatic event.
(Excerpt) Read more at philly.com ...
That the lady needs closure.
I totally agree with you. I cannot believe the number of people in this thread that want to give the state the right to intrude into our lives as they, the state, sees fit. This woman was done wrong by the state and needs to win everything she is suing for. Plus she needs to a restraining order against her child, for her and all her family.
Secondary to the rape victim.
Why, if you go back and read my post, I said “she” or “her family”.
Herman, Judith (1981). Father-Daughter Incest. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press. pp. 282. ISBN 0-674-29506-4.
There is no such right. That is why a lawsuit is possible here. Rights don't just fall out of the sky; they have to be encoded in law. The state had promised the woman confidentiality. They broke their promise carelessly. The "rights" of adopted children to confront their sperm and egg donors are not established in law. That is the point.
It was a sad day for children, mothers and the country when these child-like fantasies of adopted children to find the prince and princess from whence they came began to be abetted by the law.
It will start making mothers think twice about giving up babies for adoption.
There’s nothing really to be gained except the the rare instances that there is some hereditary condition, and even then, what good does knowing about it do?
There used to be a good faith understanding that these adoptions would remain private and they should.
The Oprah moments aren’t worth the heartache and are mostly not up to expectations anyway.
Are you buying me that book?
You need some training in dealing with rape victims. The woman does not need any more help, she dealt with it and put it behind her. She went on to have a family, and for the state to expose her like this is horrendous!
We agree!
Unfortunately, the pain and suffering this has shovled on the innocent birth mother (again!) cannot be reversed.
God bless this woman for giving birth to this child and for giving her a chance at a great life.
My FRiend, rape is not above all other life traumas.
All life traumas are treated in the same way. There are the stages of remorse that all trauma victim go through.
If people do not let or discourage a person from closure, then the trauma continues.
There is no such right. Life does not come with guarantees that eating from the tree of medical knowledge will save you. Salvation and peace come from God, who is our true parent.
As I told another poster, the older generations of my family had lots of orphans, because in the pre-antibiotic times, many women died in childbirth, or the fathers of the youngest children of 8 or 12 siblings just didn't live long enough to see them grow up, or didn't stick around. My grandparents never knew their parents and didn't know much about them. They lived for each day and tomorrow and for their offspring, and lived long lives without constant harping over the loss of parents they never knew.
The daughter’s right to know her parentage was entirely contingent upon the mother’s consent. The daughter’s right to life, however, was absolute. Her biological mother honored that right.
This woman gave the child life at a time she had every legal right to end it. And at a time when an abrtion for rape was considered the right thing to do
She ALREADY has gone way beyond her moral obligation.
She has no further duty to anyone except herself.
Just as I have no obligation to even answer the door for someone whose car is in the ditch. They are trespassing, and I don't even have a duty to tell them. As in this case, the default answer is NO, and in my state, if I feel threatened, I have the right to shoot to kill.
“Closure” is a crock. As another poster said, some things do not go away; you just learn to live with them. I do not believe that Freud has helped the human race — just the opposite. Peace comes from communion with God.
You're right, you did. Apologies.
Absolutely not true.
>>Peace comes from communion with God.<<
So, would Our Lord turn the daughter away?
Rape is a horrible trauma. But it’s not the worst thing that can happen to you. It’s made out to be by women’s groups, but my sister lost a child and at one time was raped.
When asked, she would take the rape over losing the child.
No problem!
Sometimes, we see all posts together.
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