Posted on 06/16/2009 12:31:57 PM PDT by reaganaut1
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For my first trip out and about since learning I was pregnant, I went to meet with the director of an adoption agency. He was so supportive and sweet that I walked away choked up but not in tears — it was the first day I didn’t cry. Even though the adoption agency can pay my medical costs and set me up with adoptive parents for maternity shopping, grocery shopping, birthing classes and all kinds of programs, it didn’t feel like enough. I told the director how scared and lonely I’ve been and he just said, “I know. I can tell. We’ll take this one step at a time.” So many of the comments urged me to consider adoption but I already feel so attached to the little zygote inside of me (my friend named it Ziggy) that I don’t think I could carry a baby to term just to give it away. The mere thought of handing my child to someone else, as altruistic as it is, breaks me.
That shifted my thoughts to keeping the baby. My parents have also been reading through the comments and they’ve gained a new insight too. Sure, a baby would be wonderful to have at the Thanksgiving table, but what about the rest of the year? Even though they would love a grandchild, I think they’re starting to understand how hard this will be for me.
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If I’m not there to turn in a policy paper or a memo, someone else’s child might not get their mosquito net or child support check. What I do matters, not just in my own small world, but in the big picture.
(Excerpt) Read more at parenting.blogs.nytimes.com ...
Holy moley that is one self absorbed young lady. How sad. Projectile vomit alert for her decision making process.
Knowing the heart ache and the endless waiting that would be adoptive parents have to go through to end up with a child to love and call their own, is practically insurmountable. The cost of terminating a life through abortion is immeasurable. The world will never hear this child laugh, see a boundless smile, seems like 9 moths is nothing compared to death. Why should the baby pay for the mothers MISTAKE!!!! (read wrong time, wrong place)
Liz, it's worse than that. I know several folks who are the mother or father of a dead baby ... as in miscarriage. It hurts.
Abortion is far worse.
She isn't the mother of a dead baby ...
She's a mother who killed her own baby ... deliberately.
Reminds me of my sorority sister in college.
“What? Give away my baby and never know where it is?”
Selfish women!!!
And this one justifies killing her own child by how important she thinks she is in the lives of others she doesn’t even know. Kill her own concrete child for children who are nothing to her but numbers on a spread sheet.
I have found that poetic subtlety often passes by unnoticed:
May Understanding Render Desperate Emotions Restrained, Especially Regrets.
But she has no problem with handing her child's broken and shredded dead body to a landfill or an incinerator or a garbage disposal.
My former wife, constantly fretted about an abortion before I ever knew her. In High School she had gotten an abortion and constantly wondered - was it a She or a He? - What name would I have given it.
This increased with the birth of each of our two girls. When the girls were old enough, her anger spilled over on them and she told each one "I wish I had aborted you".
After 10 years of counseling, she told her best friend she was "Going to Kill" her children, having just come out of a Psychiatric ward.
Don't tell me that Abortion doesn't affect a woman and don't tell me that Abortion doesn't affect her children afterwords.
Been there, seen that, Got the T-Shirt.
Hopefully one day, when she decides the moment is “right” for her to have children, her body is still able to do so. We had one baby, and were unable to have any others.
I once asked a girl why she had chosen abortion (she told me after the fact...probably didn’t want to hear anything but “go ahead”), why she didn’t give the baby up for adoption and she adamantly said “I couldn’t do that!” makes no sense....she couldn’t give the baby life and give it up b/c she was too attached, she loved it too much but she could kill it?! Sick, selfish logic. Boggles the mind of anyone with half a brain/heart.
It is interesting that she waxes self-centeredly poetic about doing something *just for her*....I thought that’s what she was doing when she conceived: Satisfying her own hedonistic desires with reckless abandon.
Now she has aggrandized her murderous irresponsiblilty to some sort of higher moral plane.
Depravity is so ugly.
Adoption s*cks just as hard for the child as abortion does.
To true! My friend had 2 abortions and even through healing groups through the church, forgiveness by Christ she still suffers. She wears a necklace with two small angels to constantly remember her loss.
I had a child out of wedlock with no father wanting to marry me. It was hard, but I never considered abortion and glad I didn’t. My 11 year old son wouldn’t be here! I also miscarried 2 babies and though they were taken from me out of my hands I still think about them and it makes me sad. I’m greatful to be a mom to my 11 and 7 year old boys!
Abortion kills and hurts!
One of my kids got pregnant at 18. She had run away from home, and I had probably seen her 12 days total since she was 16. During the time she was gone she got into every vile thing she could.
The boys family were trying to convince her to get an abortion, but her sister convinced her keeping the child would be much better, and probably saved the baby’s life.
In looking changes in this street kids life because of the baby, I would say the baby saved her mothers life.
If adoption “sucks just as hard for the child as abortion does,” as you say, how do you know?
It is impossible to interview an aborted fetus to ask her feelings on the matter.
Wouldn’t it be fairer to let the child be adopted, and later, if she wishes she had been aborted, she can off herself? Or, perhaps, there is some hope that her life won’t suck, after all. Since she only gets one life to live, why not let her have that small chance at joy?
I don’t think any freeper who posted to this article was implying that adoption is the preferred solution in all cases. Obviously, the preferred solution in the case of pregnancy is for the conception to take place in a stable, loving, committed relationship between a husband and wife who have the means to provide a stable, nuturing home for the child.
However, ours is an imperfect world, necessitating imperfect solutions. Adoption is one of the solutions to the issue, as is single parenthood, and marrying the guy who biologically donated to the baby.
I for one do not believe a single parent environment is a great solution. (And, I can say that, because I am the product of that environment.) And, there is a very high probablility that marrying the donor would eventually revert to a single parent home.
I do believe having a nuclear family, the same plan the Good Lord gave us in the Good Book, really is the best solution. But, I must respectfully disagree that adoption should be the option of last resort. I many cases the ultimate act of love is to relinquish claim to your biological child so that more capable, better equipped and situated loving people can raise the child they have longed for for so long.
Great love will always sacrifice self-interest to the benefit of another.
So I'll kill the baby, and then I don't have to go through that. After all, it's all about ME!
This woman is no better than a man who kills his ex-wife because he doesn't want anyone else to have her.
She can flush it down the drain but can’t wave goodbye.
Sick.
And, yes, the reality that she KILLED HER OWN CHILD will haunt her forever.
Satan then whispers “God will NEVER forgive you for that, so you must hide from Him.”
No, because she wouldn't have killed another human being just to spare her own feelings.
I will be the first to tell you I dont support abortion either, but the fact that she is heartsick at the notion of a stranger raising HER BLOOD KIN apparently revolts you people too.
How could you possibly have misunderstood. Try actually reading the posts. The issue is not that she was having these feelings. The issue is that she CLAIMED to have these feelings, then went and killed the child she CLAIMED to care about.
But frankly Im tired of self-righteous boobs saying that a person is selfish because she doenst toss her baby the way of adopters
Again, read the posts. Not one person is having a fit about that. The issue is that this woman claims to be all warm and fuzzy toward this child, then KILLS IT.
Adoption s*cks just as hard for the child as abortion does.
So being raised by someone who loves you is the same as being torn limb from limb? Good grief, you're one mixed up person.
As a parent by adoption, I find this incredible (not in a good way). If she was SO “attached” to the baby, how on earth could she have an abortion.
What a selfish git.
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