Posted on 05/05/2009 1:36:08 PM PDT by Jim Robinson
Edited on 05/05/2009 3:53:30 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
So, you say you want to win elections? No problem. Just be more like the Democrats.
All you've got to do is:
1) Quit talking about abortion. Go along with the flow. A woman's body is hers to control. If a growing baby is in the way, who cares? Kill him!
2) Quit objecting to gay marriage. That's so, like, yesterday. Don't you watch Rosie O'Donnell? Gay marriage is sooooo in. Queer is cool.
3) Quit objecting to big spending, big government, big taxes. C'mon man, the government knows what's best for us. Paying your taxes is patriotic. BIG government with BIG ideas is what made America GRATE!! Takes a lot of money to keep those BIG ideas flowing from BIG government!
4) Quit worrying about following the constitution. Talk about yesterday, the constitution is ancient! A quaint old document written by rich white guys in different times, for different times. There is no way our founding fathers could have foreseen all the problems we have in our modern times. Time to ditch the constitution and get with the modern program! We should pay more attention to international law and how they do things in Europe! Peace, bro!
5) Speaking of international law, why do we keep resisting the United Nations and other global government bodies? That's so old fashioned. If we all get behind the UN, it'll be a BIG step towards world peace! Europe, Russia, China, North Korea, Syria, Iran, et al, know more about peace than all the rest of us put together!
6) Speaking of world peace, why do we spend so much money on our war making machines? Cut the military!! Dismantle and destroy the nukes!! Scrap the Air Force and the Navy!! Convert the army into a civilian peacekeeping corps! If they held a war and no one came, we'd have peace, man!! Cut the war making machines and save the world!!
7) Borders? Why? They just get in the way of international commerce and the free flow of goods and labor. And they foment nationalism. Nationalism is our biggest enemy! Dissolve the borders and let freedom ring for all!!
8) Global warming, er, climate change. C'mon, it's obvious to all, and 12,000,000 government (political) scientists cannot be questioned. The climate is changing. And man made CO2 is the reason! We must reduce our carbon footprint on this planet or we're all gonna die! The GOP must stop being part of the problem and jump onto the climate change bandwagon. We're the last holdout!
9) The economy. We're burning too much oil. Too much fossil fuel. We cannot be profitable using oil that must be imported from countries that don't like us very much. Close down all industry depending on fossil fuels and start building new industries that use good green wind, solar and wave power!! Don't worry that these technologies don't exist yet, just close the coal burning plants and build the new. We'll tax the holdouts to death and create good shovel ready green jobs for the masses.
10) Healthcare. What greater right is there than the equal right to the miracle of modern medicine for everyone? Let's quit beating around the bush. The federal government is the only entity big enough to supply free and equal healthcare to the masses. Government knows best. Time for stingy conservatives to get out of the way. Like the successful battles for African-American and gay rights, equal healthcare rights for all is a civil rights issue!! So is housing! We all have the right to live in equal housing!!
11) Stop talking about religion and God and Jesus and the Creator and all that superstition stuff. Just makes us look foolish. Sheesh, talk about ancient. Jesus walked 2000 years ago. And God is older than dirt! And our dirt is old, man. Not 6,000 years—billions of years. Creator? All of our textbooks say man oozed out of the swamps millions of years ago. And he’s been oozing ever since! Everyone that grew from a clump of worthless cells in his mama’s belly like a parasite on its host knows that. Especially if he attended public schools.
12) And for crying out loud quit talking about Ronald Reagan!! Reagan was nothing but a "B" grade movie actor. He's the most hated Republican since Dick Nixon! We'll never win over the (left leaning) moderates and centrists by bragging about Reagan's conservatism (spit!). His trickle down supply side Reganomics was a failure anyway. Here we are only two decades after his departure and the economy he left is already failing. Especially in the last year or so. And the USSR was bound to fail eventually. His speech regarding tearing down the Berlin Wall was a waste of time.
Hunter/DeMint 2012
Love it! Bipartisianship means Dems get their way always!
LOL
Yep....the very modern model of the mondern model moderates....
We need to be democrat lite to win...
bleh...maybe they can get powell to run next time...
Grate our teeth, that is.
A one party system can and must not stand.
We have been witness to the merging of the political streams into a Progressive movement that is carrying us towards the falls... and more than a few just shrug.
A nap sounds good about now. ;-)
We need a new Mayflower, Pinta Nina and Santa Maria.
....or....you could just shoot yourself rather than put up with this line of crap!
Me, too.
I’m tired of all of this rebranding talk.
We tried that during the last campaign.
It didn’t turn out very well at all.
Half the voter population seems to want what amounts to prison, as depicted by this joke:
Police Jokes
Prison Versus Housewives
In prison, you get three square meals a day.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.
In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.
At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest lego creation.
In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.
At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.
In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.
At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.
In prison, all your medical care is free.
At home, you have to pawn your mother’s silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.
In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.
At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.
In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.
At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again?
In prison, you get your own personal toilet.
At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.
In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.
At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.
In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.
At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.
In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.
At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.
In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t.
At home....stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?
CAN THE REPUBLICANS DEFEAT THIS??
The base is solid, we just have to keep the limp wristed politicians (i.e. the Republicans) in line. Not an easy job.
LOL
I am afraid these are the standard lectures republicans get after losing an election, it is never really explained why this world work, or exactly what the winning positions would be.
Jim,
I hope that there are a majority of Americans who will still want to be free after a few years of giveaways and vote-buyings.
It could take 10-20 years for the brutal effects of this creeping socialism to show up fully and by then it will be tough to rip it out.
The Boomer “Gimme” Generation which I am on the tail end of has undone 100+ years of progress.
I wish there were more like us.
rob
Troll. I’m reporting this to the mods.
this is the dawning of the age of aquarius
This one republicans have covered pretty well.
This is the response Colin Powell and his ilk need to hear.
Sen. McCain, give Jim Robinson his account back right now, mister!
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