Two-thirds lie about reading a book

Telegraph (UK) ^ | 5 Mar 2009 | Stephen Adams

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

It is the dirty little literary secret of which most are guilty but few openly admit: pretending to have read highbrow books like War and Peace to make ourselves appear more intelligent and sexy than we actually are.

Languishing on shelves up and down the country are copies of such worthy tomes as Leo Tolstoy's epic, George Orwell's political allegory 1984 and James Joyce's Modernist classic, Ulysses.

But while we like to brag about how we have read - and understood - them, most of us simply lie, according to a survey released to mark World Book Day today.

Under the cover of an anonymous questionnaire, two-thirds of people admitted to fibbing about having read a book.

Surprisingly, given its brevity and pace, 1984 heads the top 10 list of books we falsely claim to have read.

The rest of the list is largely predictable, stuffed full of weighty volumes most have seen dramatised on television but not read line by endless line.

Besides War and Peace and Ulysses – which can both exceed 1,000 pages depending on edition – other unread works include the Bible, Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert and A Brief History of Time, by Professor Stephen Hawking.

Many also bluffed about reading classics by the likes of Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and the Brontë sisters.

In reality most people would rather pick up a JK Rowling, John Grisham or a Mills and Boon, the poll found.

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

I read all the time, but I don't apparently read the "cool" books. Of the books mentioned in the excerpt, the only ones I've read are 1984, A Brief History of Time, and the Bible. I have read some Dickens (had to in school), but I tend to stick to history, philosophy, theology, and other non-fiction genres.

I found Hawking's "Brief History of Time" to be rather banal, too. I was disappointed with it.

This reminds me of the time when I was walking around here in Chapel Hill, I think I was having my car worked on and was just out killing time or something. Anywise, I noticed this guy - typical left-wing Chapel Hillian, had the commie glasses and courderoy sportcoat with the patches, trying to look intellectual and all - holding this monstrously thick book, had to be 1500 pages, in his hands. Instead of reading it, he was looking around at everybody like he was trying to see who was noticing him reading this monstrously thick book. I know he wasn't reading it, because he was holding it upside down.

[aruanan]

I found Hawking's "Brief History of Time" to be rather banal, too. I was disappointed with it.

I know what you mean. I got to the end and thought, "This is all there is?"

[A_Former_Democrat]

Gee, isn’t this why we have Cliff’s Notes?

[coloradan]

I want to impress all the college girls... my shelves are full of all the Cliff Notes ever written.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

I’ve tried and failed to finish Proust’s RoTP, Joyce’s Ulysses, and a handful of other classics. They’re toxic.
I read Tolstoy’s W&P, consider it ridiculously overrated.

[laotzu]

I've read virtually every 'Mad' magazine ever published....
Oh!, and the survey mentioned in this article.

[mmichaels1970]

I clicked on the link, went to the source, read every word of it, and find it very...uh...interesting. That’s the ticket!

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Yes, Jane Austen was a bore, too. Likewise Louisa May Alcott.

[svcw]

It is a wonder why people “lie” about reading these boring books because they are afraid to be viewed as uncouth.
Come one we read what we find interesting and enjoyable.

[RobRoy]

Ah, War and Peace...
“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

I loved that book!

Well, I didn’t actually READ War and Peace, but I heard Spock read that line to Kirk after Kirk gave the book to him.

[coloradan]

That guy you saw with the thick book: maybe he just had dyslexia, except that instead of confusing left and right, he confused up and down. Yup, probably a liberal.

[mnehring]

I will admit, I don’t have the patience for some like Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, or Nabokov, but like most folks, I’ve read them in school. Not exactly entertainment reading. Pretty much everything else in the article I’ve read, several like 1984 multiple times.

[Izzy Dunne]

pretending to have read highbrow books like War and Peace to make ourselves appear more intelligent and sexy

The weird thing is, if you actually have read those "highbrow" books, you are often looked down on as a bookworm, nerd, etc., not "sexy" at all.

Education, erudition, and intelligence are not prized the way they once were.

[coloradan]

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

You fool!! That wasn’t War and Peace, that was Shakespeare! :)

[aruanan]

The list:

1. 1984, by George Orwell42%
2. War and Peace, by Leo Tolstoy31%
3. Ulysses, by James Joyce25%
4. The Bible24%
5. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert16%
6. A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking15%
7. Midnight's Children, by Salman Rushdie14%
8. In Remembrance of Things Past, by Marcel Proust 9%
9. Dreams from My Father, by Barack Obama6%
10. The Selfish Gene, by Richard Dawkins6%

I know I've read 1, 4, and 6. I don't have time to waste on 9 and 10. I've read A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, which was enough Joyce for me. I just don't know why anyone would lie about reading Flaubert, Bovary, or Proust.

[Oratam]

I've read virtually every 'Mad' magazine ever published....

Was only discussing "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" last night--a classic!

[Alkhin]

No it wasn’t - it ws the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - see it was the worst of times because they forgot their towel, but the best of times because they could eat cake.

[Gondring]

I read about that study. Most people just ignored him, but there was one guy who noticed it. That was you?

;-)

[Liberty1970]

It is good to cultivate an appreciation for the classics. It's better than the things we spend a lot of time on, at any rate (boob tube, most stuff on the internet, etc.) I'll admit to _picking_ War & Peace in high school when we had a choice of reading assignments, to the consternation of my english teacher. It was hard to keep track of all the characters, but engrossing just the same.

Likewise Charles Dickens' book David Copperfield (900+ pages), for reasons I've never been able to pinpoint. I mean, nothing dramatic happens in the book to D.C., but somehow the book just pulled me in.

The best books make us better people by presenting a good moral vision to which we can aspire, or at least by warning us of dangers to avoid (i.e., 1984, which I waited til 1985 to read...)

[coloradan]

I don’t know, that sounds awfully improbable.