Posted on 02/14/2009 9:39:50 AM PST by Caleb1411
As the government gets set to spend nearly $800 billion to stimulate the economy, make sure to get your fair share of the plunder by participating in Reason's Personal Stimulus Generator™.
It only takes a minute and will be worth billions! Share with friends, family, complete strangers, and members of Congress!
Answer a few simple questions and you'll get a specific earmark—the only one in the whole bill, we promise!—written directly into the legislation. Suitable for framing, it also makes a wonderful gift for you grandchildren, your grandchildren's grandchildren, and everyone else who will be paying off the cost of the stimulus.
Click here to get in on the spoils!
That’s cool!
I requested only a paltry $2 million for “middle-class income equalization and predatory tax policy antidote.” In a cybersecond, I have become an official grantee.
Better than those "Internet Millions" infomercials.
Yes, but your cats surely are more productive citizens than probably 92 percent of the people on whom the stimulus largesse will be bestowed.
Excellent!
Our cockatoo Callahan gets free sunflower seeds for life AND Arlen Specter gets expelled.
Indeed they are!! At least they are out in the open about their greed for more catnip and cat toys, and aren’t out there voting on significant legislation that THEY HAVEN’T EVEN READ!!!!!
Payback is coming, Congress dems and rinos, payback is coming!!
This is funny-—
wireless and broadband deployment grant programs
(including transfer of funds to Badden Powell for the Badden Powell Personal Economic Stimulus Program)
For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $335,000,000 shall be paid directly to Badden Powell in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Badden Powell to Teaching Outdoors Appreciation Conservation & Nature through Boy Scouting or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Badden Powell will receive free Arizona Cardinals tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Badden Powell shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Speaker of the House Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.
But since cats are nocturnal creatures, weren’t they up all night perusing that 1,071-page behemoth before Congress (none of whom had read it) voted on it?
There’s taxpayer loot for everyone. Don’t miss your opportunity for a ticket to Fat City.
If the latter could somehow be causally related to the former, I'd personally fund the sunflower seed endowment.
wireless and broadband deployment grant programs
(including transfer of funds to Free Republic.com for the Free Republic.com Personal Economic Stimulus Program)
For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $800,000,000 shall be paid directly to Free Republic.com in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Free Republic.com to End FreepAThons or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Free Republic.com will receive free Lt Dan’s Band tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Free Republic.com shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Congresswoman Pelosi/Senator Harry Reid is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.
ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cool, my environmental project to return Washington DC to it’s natural state of swampland has been approved!
ROFL....LOVE IT!
Not *my* cats. They’re more into watching tv than reading, donchaknow. ;-)
wireless and broadband deployment grant programs(including transfer of funds to The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina for the The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina Personal Economic Stimulus Program)
For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $200,000,000 shall be paid directly to The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina to The study of the wetland land crab in it's natural Habitat or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina will receive free Mail Call tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Barney Frank is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.
My cats get Detroit Tiger tickets for life!!! WOO HOO!!
“And one more thing: Barney Frank is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.”
Wouldn’t be funny, now, if some staffer had actually inserted a clause like that in Porkulus...
I mean, nobody had a chance to read the darn thing...
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