[TCats]

I'm waiting for the E-Mails that come from Nigeria letting me know ‘I've qualified for $20 Mil in Bailout Funds’ and all I have to do is ‘Send a few thousand in order to cover administrative costs of processing my payment’.

[Jet Jaguar]

That’s cool!

[pillut48]

I used my cats to see what they could get! :-)
-------------- (including transfer of funds to Moose & Pebbles P. for the Moose & Pebbles P. Personal Economic Stimulus Program) For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $25,000,000,000 shall be paid directly to Moose & Pebbles P. in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Moose & Pebbles P. to catnip/cat toy research or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Moose & Pebbles P. will receive free Animal Planet tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Moose & Pebbles P. shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Nancy Pelosi/Harry Reid is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

[HoosierHawk]

$25 billion, just like that. It's that easy!!

Better than those "Internet Millions" infomercials.

[SandRat]

This is funny-—

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Badden Powell for the Badden Powell Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $335,000,000 shall be paid directly to Badden Powell in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Badden Powell to Teaching Outdoors Appreciation Conservation & Nature through Boy Scouting or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Badden Powell will receive free Arizona Cardinals tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Badden Powell shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Speaker of the House Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

[Caleb1411]

There’s taxpayer loot for everyone. Don’t miss your opportunity for a ticket to Fat City.

[SandRat]

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Free Republic.com for the Free Republic.com Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $800,000,000 shall be paid directly to Free Republic.com in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Free Republic.com to End FreepAThons or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Free Republic.com will receive free Lt Dan’s Band tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Free Republic.com shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Congresswoman Pelosi/Senator Harry Reid is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Navy Patriot]

Cool, my environmental project to return Washington DC to it’s natural state of swampland has been approved!

[usmcobra]

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina for the The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $200,000,000 shall be paid directly to The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina to The study of the wetland land crab in it's natural Habitat or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina will receive free Mail Call tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That The University of Science Music and Culture at Parris Island , South Carolina shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Barney Frank is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

[LiberConservative]

My cats get Detroit Tiger tickets for life!!! WOO HOO!!

[CharacterCounts]

Wow!

I got $3,000,000 to study the role of belly button lint in sexual reproduction.

[Vaduz]

As the democrats gets set to spend nearly $800 billion wet dream cpmes true sucks thumb.

[NewHampshireDuo]

Wow. I got just under $2 million for a program to displace lobster by scallops as Maine’s signature seaford and got Sue Collins booted as part of the deal.

[The Mayor]

HAHAHA!

including transfer of funds to Rus for the Rus Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $45,000,000 shall be paid directly to Rus in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Rus to start a business or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Rus will receive free Buffalo Bills tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Rus shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Schumer is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

[NickFlooding]

I was awarded a grant of $150,000 to refund my 401k because I invested just like a Wall St. Bank CEO. I could have gotten more but I didn't have Madoff managing my investments.