Posted on 01/15/2009 3:56:16 PM PST by presidio9
Revision Studios, famous for the "Princess Diana Gay Bible" has launched Leviticus International, a new website which promises to help unhappy straights become gay. According to film producer Max Mitchell, creator of the site, "Jesus Christ has the power to end heterosexuals' misery and make them happy well-adjusted gays." Mitchell recently produced "Horror In The Wind," about two bio-geneticists who invent an airborne formula that reverses the whole world's sexual orientation.
Leviticus International says straights can be "born again gay" through prayer and Jesus Christ. Joseph "Bo" Kelly, of Las Vegas, NV, a former heterosexual, claims his compulsive attraction to women led him to two suicide attempts. "Now that I'm gay, suicide never crosses my mind. My partner, Todd, and I share so much more than I ever did with any of my four ex wives. I thank God for taking the sinful hetero disorder away."
How does it work? "I got on my knees and asked Jesus to release me from the spell cast by women." It took months and months of prayer until I started noticing guys' butts. Then I met Todd at church. The next thing I knew, it was Super Bowl. We were so excited by the game, let's just say there was dancing in the end zone. We moved out of the trailer into an Italian palazzo with topiary and an herb garden. I can't thank Rev. Karl enough. I'm living proof prayer really works."
Mary Bermanoff, of Dearborn, another ex straight, says she's never been so happy. "I truly am born again. Who knew Jesus could make me a happy lesbian? Twenty years with a man who smelled and never once emptied the recycle bin on the computer was more than I could take. My girlfriend, Janine, actually cooks and brings me coffee
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
You said — “I always wonder why God does not do a lighting bolt on some people.”
He gives them enough rope to hang themselves and then brings it all up at the Great White Throne Judgement (Revelation 20...).
Then it’s a quick trip to the lake of fire...
Obviously I’ve hit a sore spot with you by posting this. Why don’t you do a search to see if this a repost and then complain about it? Go ahead and waste your time, and I promise to never let your constant bitching and complaining effect my behavior the slightest bit for the rest of time. I found this article to be particularly obnoxious, but that doesn’t mean I think gays are terrible people all of time. I have friends and family members who are gay. Does that help?
The oh-so-tolerant homofascists’ loathing for ex-gays never ceases to crack me up. Someone braver than myself ought to take some of the ridiculous, bigoted crap they say about ex-gays, remove the prefix “ex-,” and publish the edited message and watch the incredible displays of double-standardism rise up from pro-homosexuality readers.
Libtards will fight tooth-and-nail for the rights of homosexuals...unless those homosexuals should dare to exercise their right to be straight, conservative Christians. As if we needed any more proof that liberals only care about “tolerance” when it suits their own political agenda.
Oh, I know. But just once I would like to see some of these people just puff in a bolt of lighting. Once when there was a big earthquake (I live in southern CA) some high wires were lose and when the shaking stop birds would fly to the wires and puff...instantly they exploded in flames. Ok, it was exciting and really weird at the same time. Anyway, I would like to see some of these people just go puff and explode in flames.
The person that you were posting to has no life and no friends, so he makes it his mission to come to FR and post complaints to threads he doesn’t like. I have gotten dozens of such posts from him, and it hasn’t effected my behavior one bit. I have no way of knowing whether he takes particular offense to threads that expose the full depravity of the gay lifestyle.
Well, there is a little known verse...
1 Corinthians 5:4-5
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
Hmmm..., that’s a prayer for Satan to come and kill someone in order to save his everlasting soul (only applicable to Christians, though...).
—
So, for another one (for the pagans), we can go to the Prophet Elisha...
2 Kings 2:23-25
23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!”
24 So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
—
LOL...
That’s the best I can do for you... :-)
Prozac doesn't work? Chase a sphincter!
"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination"... Leviticus 18:22
Mocking the Lord God is highly NOT recommended.
It’s happened twice that we know of, and man didn’t learn a thing, because we rebuilt one of those cities in Northern California, and it’s residents mock God directly from it (when they aren’t denying Him entirely).
I’m not sure some of you get the [weak, hypocritical] point of this article. It is NOT a serious attempt to justify homosexuality using scripture. It’s satire, and it is meant as an attack on ex-gays—i.e. gays who are religiously opposed to the homosexual lifestyle and seek a remedy for their homosexuality. If liberals were as tolerant and open-minded as they claim to be, you’d think they could respect ex-gays’ right to choose their own identity and lifestyle. Instead, they see the ex-gay movement as a threat to their “born-that-way, homosexuality is irreversible and absolutely correct” dogma, and they can’t STAND it.
Nothing shows homofascists’ true colors like the way they berate homosexual individuals who don’t serve their political agenda. I think those of us who oppose homofascism need to make the most of this.
Your posts have been spot on. Good exegesis.
Oh..., well, he should have known that he was going to be getting a big dose of God’s Word here... :-)
I got that. I just haven't gotten around to commenting on it yet.
There is a parallel to gay reprogramming in drug and alchohol counseling. The sucess rate there is less than 10%. Does this mean people of faith should just give up on addicts and alchoholics?
Actually, they probably have read "their" bibles...they got rid of everything they didn't like, which, I'm sure, includes the verses you cited. But they haven't been reading God's Bible.
Things change though. Five years ago, any scientist who disagreed with Man-Made Global Warming Theory risked being labeled a quack. Now it seems like every week a respected scientist is writing a dissention in one respected publication or another. The medical and scientific professions are more like religious communities than they care to admit. Take psychology (why this falls under) how many psychiatrists do you see practicing Freudian analysis today. Today it's all about pharmacology, and one day that probably will change.
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