I”m sorry CaramelGal. I meant to insert your name in the to slot, but forgot. I posted this just above already.
I don’t know what to do with a statement like, “Get a clue guys. It’s not all about you.”
The part that seems to be forgotten here, is that the guy isn’t trying to be offensive to his mate. He is trying to spend some intimate time with her. He is trying to give her pleasure. This isn’t all about him. It’s about a committed relationship, and one where he expects her to enjoy his advances just like he will enjoy hers.
By saying no, she is the one who is saying, “It’s all about me.” He is saying, it’s all about the both of us. I love you. I want to be intimate with you because I love you. If I didn’t, I’d get it elsewhere.
his reply was that he didnt get outta bed and go to work everyday because he 'was in the mood', just the same as i wasnt painting the hall for sh!tz and giggles...we do these things because they simply need to get done...
now i could be resentful and grudgingly paint, or goto work, but itll show in the finished product, therefore I adapt my mood, because I know that Mrs g as well s myself wants to see the hallway look presentable, and I want the kids to have shoes and food that they need...
no different than any of the other 'chores' on the 'laundry list'......so they get done...without resentment makes em go much better in the long run...
there IS A NEEDfor sex hardwired into most animals...especially the male of the species so for the ladies that dont like sex, or 'feel its a chore'...I bet the laundry list still gets done...and furthermore, if a little effort and forethought were built into the agenda, sex with your husband could very well be a pleasurable diversion from the laundry list...
communication is most valuable in this area of a relationship...if its being resented, then there is a problem...
my .02
In the last few years, the theory that stands out the most, is that all human beings, have three basic instincts...ALL God given and used in this life to varying extremes...benficially and destructively...
1 Social...the need to interact with others and achieve our percieved place in society...
2 Security...having those things that enable us to survive and thrive in the world around us...food, shelter etc...
3 Sexual...to at the least reproduce [instinct]...to any extreme of self-centeredness of abuse of the instinct...
this thread obviously deals with sex, but they all really do inter-relate annd the lines become blurred...
the simple fact is that God made the orgasm a VERY pleasurable and fleeting experience...most guys have no problem 'gettin there'...or theirs' as the case may be ...
ladies could do themselves alot of good if they would communicate and help their mates to help them be 'happy'...
I think that would reduce the use of the word 'chore' quite a bit...