Posted on 12/13/2008 4:13:29 AM PST by reaganaut1
The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated. Hooking up is here to stay.
...
To help me understand this phenomenon, I called Kathleen Bogle, a professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia who has studied hooking up among college students and is the author of the 2008 book, Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.
It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who cant get a date. As she put it, It used to be that if you couldnt get a date, you were a loser. Now, she said, you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.
The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys dont), and, as they get older, they start to realize that its not a good way to find a spouse. Also, theres an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.
Thats not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to Professor Bogle, its: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Arranged marriages are OK if they are voluntary for the bride and groom (they are introduced by parents are relatives but decide themselves if they want to get married). The poster you replied was talking about voluntary arranged marriages. I had such a marriage myself (I'm Indian, nominally Hindu) and am happy. Historically, parents, even in the West where women have had more rights, have taken a keen interest in finding a spouse for their children, and children, especially girls, have often lived with their parents until marriage. Are "hookups" in dorms leading to heartbreak, STDs, and abortions (or a child without a caring father) better? I'm not against dating as a means of searching for a spouse, but the "hookups" make people unmarriageable.
Ha, never has ‘hooking up’ meant just hanging out. It always means at the very least, heavy duty making out, usually it means a one-night stand.
I’ve lived on the easy coast, west coast, and southwest. The term was always used in this fashion.
Easy coast -> east coast. Freudian slip there?
Moo!
“it reminds me of my old airborne days.”
I assume you mean hooking up, as in, hooking up your chute line before a jump. Not the part about dogs...lol.
Read this lady's book. She's been there and done that, and lived to tell about it.
Young men should take the advice from Eminem and Dr. Dre. Don’t try to stay with those kind of women.
Agreed. Or perhaps the fruit of the seed.
thanks for clearing it up about the fifty percent of marriages fail statistic.
It didn’t sound right to me, but we tend to believe statistics even thought we say we won’t.
Bookmark.
congrats, but I never met, or personally knew of, anyone with that kind of dating experience. Maybe Amish???
Congratulations stud. You must be very proud of yourself.
While that's not a bad adage, I think that the oldest is still the best - Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
yep. static line, not dogs.
Why would a man marry a woman who "hooks-up" with him and who has a long history of hook-ups with other men in the past, with the sexual diseases (some leading to infertility) to go along with them?He would not.
More than half of marriages fail... even those from the 70s. It is what happens to society when they shun GOD.I hear the divorce rate in Afghanistan while under Taliban rule was almost zero.
And that may be the most disturbing part of all of this. Women - contrary to what the femininst cram down their necks - are the real losers in this yet they pursue this lifestyle with almost grim determination even though it makes them unhappy.How are they losers?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.