I'm going to go with "Global Warming causes really cold weather because man's impact on the climate is even worse than we ever feared!!!"
While I can agree with some of your statement, you've neglected the abuse on our planet by womankind as well as animalkind.
I think we need a tax on all feminine and animal products in order to stave off the catastrophic effects their presence on this planet has caused.
As such (and to wit) I am proposing a 100% tax on lipstick, Barry Manilow CD's, Milk bones, kitty litter and anything Oprah. Absent that we have failed to "nip it in the bud"