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A New Element Discovered
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Posted on 11/15/2008 8:34:43 AM PST by dvan

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: government; humor
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To: dvan

Haaaaaaaaahahahaaaaa!


21 posted on 11/15/2008 9:13:45 AM PST by barbarianbabs (AnimalFarm2008)
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To: dvan

LOL


22 posted on 11/15/2008 9:33:58 AM PST by aShepard
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To: neverdem; SunkenCiv; Grampa Dave; Ernest_at_the_Beach; george76

Poly Science ping


23 posted on 11/15/2008 9:39:24 AM PST by BIGLOOK (Keelhaul Congress! It's the sensible solution to restore Command to the People.)
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To: dvan

Doesn’t this stuff turn into black holes?


24 posted on 11/15/2008 10:06:41 AM PST by LiberConservative (Typical white guy)
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To: Enchante
"Yes, but where is the explanation for all of the noxious gasses emitted from governmnent?"

Now you've done it, given us a good reason to add a global warming ping. Photobucket

25 posted on 11/15/2008 10:12:00 AM PST by SiVisPacemParaBellum (Peace through superior firepower!)
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To: BIGLOOK

Thanks for the ping.


26 posted on 11/15/2008 10:42:02 AM PST by neverdem (Xin loi min oi)
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To: Bear_in_RoseBear; dvan

NOT if old joke applies to the current situation?


27 posted on 11/15/2008 12:39:33 PM PST by Chong (Read My LIPSTICK!)
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To: BIGLOOK

Periodic Table of Rejected Elements

28 posted on 11/15/2008 1:51:10 PM PST by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/_______Profile finally updated Saturday, October 11, 2008 !!!)
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To: LIConFem; Angostura
electrons have a negative charge

Obama can fix that.

29 posted on 11/15/2008 8:35:38 PM PST by Defiant (I for one welcome our new Obama Overlords.)
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To: WakeUpAndVote

One of my favorite movie lines ever....

“Anybody else wanta negotiate?”


30 posted on 11/16/2008 9:34:47 AM PST by Rockitz (NObama 2008- Strange we ain't believin')
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