nosed kids who did can benefit from the educational opportunity.
High resolution version suitable for printing on 2 x 3.25 business card stock
Posted on 11/04/2008 2:53:32 AM PST by GoMonster
Notice to All Employees
As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a “fair shake.”
2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards from t hose who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” We will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn't apply to us.
4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard “for the good of all.”
5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's “good to spread the wealth.” Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more “patriotic.”
6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mort gage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!!
If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.
That was EXCELLENT.
Thank you comrade.
Nice looking hair. THE civil rights issue of the 21st century. I like it!
I’m going to make note of which cars in the parking lot have an Obama bumper sticker. If layoffs are necessary, they will be the first to go.
Sounds like a Union Shop I used to work for. In my department of 35 people everyone was paid the same wage, free health insurance and with no employee reviews. 75% of the workers had no work ethic, and could care less because they knew it didn’t matter if they did a good job or not. They knew they would still get paid just the same as the rest of us who worked really hard and carried the department. I worked for them for two years. It was my first and LAST union job. Drove me nuts!!!!
And you can’t get into trouble for firing the Obama voters because discriminating on the basis of political beliefs is not against the law. In the 2004 election a liberal owner of an ice cream shop in the Northeast fired a Bush supporter and the EEOC ruled that current law does not cover such a firing.
I was in a restaurant and my server had on a "Obama 08" tie, I laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.
When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.
I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I 've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.
At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient needed money more.
I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
...and free internet because PORN is a BASIC HUMAN RIGHT!
That would have made a great YouTube video.
That it is, that it is... Blue balls are a horrible thing.
Porn is a basic human need! So, free porn for ALL!!!
:-P
Dear Fellow Business Owners
As a Business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama, will be our next President, and that my Taxes and Fees, will go up in a BIG way.
To compensate for these increases, I figure, that the customer, will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about, 8%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family,here and didn’t know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did. I strolled thru the parking lot and found, eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.
I can’t think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know. I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.
Sincerely
Ward
OOA Corp.
You left out the beginning part about seeing the homeless guy (who was for Obama) before you went in the restaurant.
That would have explained the coincidence.
Now, that is a govco. program I like!!!
I couldn’t find the original email, so I had to use the one I could find. You are correct, there is a setup paragraph.
This was posted online
Fairness Doctrine for Soda Brands
Pepsi and Coca-Cola dominate the carbonated soft drink industry. In order to make this market fair and give all brands such as Dr Pepper, Vess, Cheerwine and Royal Crown an equal opportunity to compete for consumers, the federal government will garrantee that all soda brands will have an equal amount of shelf space in a retail enviroment, all brands use the exact same marketing tools for promotion of product, and product innovation will be discouraged. Furthermore, If one particular brand outpreforms the others , the over preforming brand will be penalized and the other brands will be subsidized so that all brands are once again equal.
Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "Vote Obama, I need the money." I laughed.
Once in the restaurant my server had on a "Obama 08" tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference -- just imagine the coincidence.
When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.
I went outside, gave the homeless guy $5 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.
At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.
I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
Also, employers could announce the consideration of employee raises, then withhold those raises and give the proceeds to a worthy cause, preferably one involving non-workers ...
Thank goodness. It’s a pain to find Vess sometimes ;)
I think its worse than that, the waiter was angry because he was singled out. These mentally ill liberals WANT collective pain and punishment. They want to force everyone downward; they're happy when they bring everyone down a notch. Hitting up the rich, won't be satisfying enough, until they can walk around the half empty shelves in the supermarket, with self-righteous smirks. Their goal is not to get ahead, but to show how easily they can put up with these privations that they helped create. And they'll be the first to reward themselves via corruption and black markets for creating the mess since they will deserve extra for being good liberals.
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