[JohnLongIsland]

Sorry, but I just loaded up om Charmin this morning at the supermarket.

[pipecorp]

Do they have an “I’d like to cancel my subscription even though I don’t have a subscription because your magazine sucks” application?

[GoldenPup]

Dear US Weekly...SHOVE IT!!!

[VanDeKoik]

I have one free finger to offer Us Weekly.

[KarenMarie]

I think ppl who are outraged by their behavior are too smart to fall for this and will probably be insulted by the offer.

Especially the ‘one article’ part of it.

[FlingWingFlyer]

But...but...but the liberal MSM is reporting that the number of cancelled subscriptions is greatly exaggerated.

[JRandomFreeper]

function (Media_Dies){
while $media{
     call Screw => pooch;
     call Eat => popcorn;
     call Drink => beer;
     }
}

[xDGx]

They are doing this to maintain subscription numbers, which determines what ad rates they can command.

They must have taken a significant hit to elicit this sort of response.

[IronJack]

The thing to remember is that, while they're apologizing for stepping on their crank THIS time, your subscription funds the people who hate you. They may have to lay low for a while, but in the end, they despise everything you stand for, and are using YOUR money to destroy it.

Somehow, five free issues of a cheesy celeb magazine don't seem worth it ...

[GVnana]

Never read US. But I have bought Rolling Stone. That will never happen again.

[samadams2000]

Go to your bookstore or grocery store. Accidently shake out all of the subscription litter cards and drop them in the mail for processing. Send a message.

[weegee]

Peeing on your shoes and they tell you that’s just a rain shower.

[Penny]

Of all the messages I sent last week because of some kind FReeper's list, the following reply from State Farm is the most sincere and meaningful to me:

"Thank you very much for your e-mail expressing your opinion about US Weekly magazine.

"State Farm does not advertise in support of either the Democratic or Republican parties, nor do we condone content that can be considered one-sided. We have strict requirements as to where we place our advertising and closely monitor all of our media placements for any content issues. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We will look into the situation with US Weekly and determine the appropriate next steps.

"We value your thoughts on this issue and hope that you will continue your association with State Farm.

"Sincerely,

"Jairon L. Wills

"State Farm Executive Customer Service Supervisor"

Regards . . . Penny

[AmericanInTokyo]

"Whassamatter, didnt enjoy that heaping plate of hot, steaming horsecrap I just spoon fed you with a couple of professional wrestlers holding you down?

Well then, here, have FIVE MORE PLATES."